Safe Place

Friday.
07/08.
Mississippi River.
Lights-
It's all I can see. Blood soaks though the gash in my dark jeans, but I keep going.
Ignoring the pain I'm feeling in my legs, I push myself to keep walking.
Fingers pressed hard against the opposite side of my abdomen- my left side-bleeding slowly.
A room key resting in my pocket and pushing me to get to this safe place.
People stopped along the walkway and I push past them, their chattering begins to cloud my mind like a soft haze.
Or was it the blood loss that was making me feel fuzzy.
Either way I swayed a little in my walking and caught myself on some railing.
There was the sound of a train crossing tracks that continued to ring in my ears, each passing car on the tracks sounded like gun shots, over and over.
A girl walks by me.
Heels on concrete.
I swayed again and find steps at my feet.
Rest.
I leaned against the railing again and find my way to the ground. Just for a moment of rest.
He'd be mad at me right now. He'd say that I was being so human.
That I was giving up.
But the blood loss made my mind feel so light, so free at this point.
So I could not think of it as giving up, just as a moment of rest.
The lights around me looked like glowing orbs now and some of the mindless chatter was becoming a bit more clear as i focused.
I could see people sitting close by on the same carved stone steps I've take rest on.
They're talking.
It sounds like a Sunday morning.
A sermon.
Yes.
That's it.
Something like Psalm 56:3.
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you."
It was calming and I let my eyelids flutter softly.