A Place Where Love Prevails: Levi x Hanji (One Shots?)

Shenanigans

              A loud ear piercing scream flooded the rooms and halls of HQ. The sound of rapid stomps and clunks and thuds where heard. Everyone's eyes were wide with fear and curiosity overtaking their large orbs. They stood and ran in all directions, scattering like mice from a cat. The pounding sound of feet against hard floor grew louder, closer. Until she finally burst through the door with a wild smile on her face, a barrage of chuckles and giggles leaving her lips as she briskly made her way toward the (thug life) captain.

      "Levi! Levi! Levi! Levi! You'll never believe this!" She slammed her hands down on the table, staring at the short man across from her. Her goggles reflected the warm sunlight, casting in from an open window and Illuminating her face as her smile only grew, chocolate brown eyes sparkling with pure excitement. Levi slowly and calmly looked up from the tea in his hand, staring nonchalantly at the scientist before him.

"I assume it's still not that you've finally calmed the fuck down, quit being so reckless, and stopped shouting?" His narrow gray eyes locked onto Hanji, before he sighed and gave a slight shake of his head. "What do you want, Shitty Glasses?"

"I've been brushing up on my impressions." She smiled proudly and buffed her nails against her chest, a smug look on her face. "And I'm pretty good if I do say so myself!"

"Don't care. Shut up." Levi crossed his legs and brought his cup up to his lips, attempting to ignore his colleague.

Hanji sat down and smiled defiantly, "Oh well, too bad. Now, guess who this is!" She smiled creepily and forced an insane look in her eyes, placing her right hand on her head. Her voice going up several octaves. "Yes, hello. I may looking cute, weak, and harmless but I can actually psychologically fuck you with my mind powers!"

"Easy; Arlert. The creepy smile is a dead give away." Her breathed bored ply and raised his head.

She nodded and laughed, "You are CORRECT!"

"And don't call him cute, that's weird."

"Haha, jealous?~"

"Tch, please." He rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed with yet another of Hanji's pointless antics. "Are you done yet?"

"Not even close, Cleaning Pixie!" She simply shrugged it off and clenched her fists, a growl evident in her voice as she frowned oddly, raising her voice. "I'LL CRUSH THEM! I'LL KILL THEM! I'LL KILL EVERY FUCKING TITAN FROM THIS EARTH EVEN MYSELF AAAARRRGGHHGHGHHGH!!"

He cut her off before anymore screaming could occur. "Jeager. But, also you."

"Whaaat? I'm nothing like that!" Hanji crossed her arms, smiling oddly.

"You are. Full of rage, and won't shut up about Titans." He sipped his tea, obviously showing it wasn't an argument she was going to win.

She narrowed her eyes, "Alright asshole. Who's this then?" Her featured contorted to show emptiness and annoyance, straightening up and speaking with an almost posh tone. "Tch, tch, tch. I wear a cravat so I look fancy as I dust every surface and discuss feces. Also, I love Hanji and she is superior to me in every conceivable way. She has an ass that won't quit, and her brain is fifty times bigger than my di-"

His pale cheeks tainted slightly red, glaring daggers towards his brat. "You're full of shit."

"Hahahah! Too accurate?"

"You are not superior to me."

She leaned forward and put her elbows on the table, smiling and teasing him happily, "But you love me!"

"..... You're face is stupid."

She gasped over dramatically and sat back in her seat, "But it's YOUR face!"

"Shut up." He sighed, exhausted. (FROM ALL THE BULLSHIT)

Hanji raised her hands to her eyebrows and enlarged them, pushing them down and deepening her voice. "OFFER UP YOUR BEATING HEARTS CHILDREN! ADVANCE!! LEVI!! Refuel! But don't goddamn ask me why or you'll ruin my SEXY AMBIGUITY!"

Levi's eyes widened, taking a sudden breath and choked on his tea. He covered his mouth and leant forward, coughing violently. And of course, with the most perfect timing, Erwin's eyes were narrowed with bewilderment. Beside him, Mike struggled not to laugh, his eyes as wide as saucers.

      "Don't you dare laugh." The blonde commander's eyes narrowed towards the tall soldier beside him, fist clenched at his sides. At the table, Hanji continued her (COMPLETELY ACCURATE) Erwin impression.

     "LEVI DO MY BIDDING WHILE I STAND HERE LIKE A CHISELED GREEK GOD AND CONTEMPLATE THE INFINITE UNIVERSE WITHIN MY EYEBROWS! FOR THE LAST TIME HANJI NO YOU CANNOT PURCHASE A TITAN SIZED BLANKET FOR BEAN, YOU KNOW MY BUDGET IS TIGHTER THAN MY ASSHOLE!"

      Levi remained hunched over, coughing and spitting out his tea while trying to keep down his laughter, but of course to no avail.

    "SON I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF YOUR SPINE IS BROKEN. TAKE DOWN THAT TITAN FOE HUMANITY. I'LL SACRIFICE YOUR BABY FOR HUMANITY I DON'T GIVE A FUCK."

Erwin once again repeated,"Don't you fucking dare laugh." As mike began to sweat profusely, struggling to keep his laughter from escaping his lips.

"I ONLY HAVE THE FINEST HAIR IMPORTED FROM THE INTERIOR FOR MY TOUPE."

I honestly don't know where I was going with this but yeah enjoy and stuff :3
I DO NOT OWN THIS COMIC, FULL CREDIT TO THE CREATIVE MUFFIN WHO MADE THIS  COMEDIC MASTERPIECE