UnderTale Universe One-shots

UF!Sans x Reader: Why So Happy?

CURSE WORDS AHEAD

"Get some milk he demands," Sans grumbled. "there has to be a store open at three fuckin' in the morning!"

The low purr of his car's engine did nothing to dispel his exhaustion and irritation; very reasonable emotions to have after being woken up at three am for a grocery store run. Honestly, the chances of a grocery store being open at this time that carried his special 'extra calcium' milk was so low Sans didn't even want to bother leaving his bed. He was sleeping damn it.

Three gas stations and one iHop later Sans gave up hope. Sure he might get yelled at when he got home, but it wasn't like he could pull milk out of his ass. He didn't even have an ass!

Then, a light at the end of the tunnel. A 24-hour grocery store lay before him in its unholy glory. While he had no idea why humans would need to get groceries at 3 am, nor why anyone would want to work at that ungodly hour, he shrugged it off as some sort of blessing. A blessing a skeleton with Sans's track record did not deserve.

After parking illegally in a handicap parking spot (who the hell is up at 3 am anyways?), the grumpy skeleton with bags under his eye sockets made his way into the store. The white lights seemed to burn for a second before his magical pupils could get used to them. Sans honestly didn't even have the energy to keep up his constant magical eye, so he didn't bother. Fuck it, who was gonna see him anyway?

Sans glanced suspiciously and tiredly around the store to make sure some dumb ass wouldn't mug him before going to the freezer section in the back. The store was comparatively smaller than the other ones in the city, but he supposed something was better than nothing.

"okay milk," he mumbled under his breath, trailing his skeletal fingers over the selections. "lactose free, 2%, fat-free, why the fuck do humans have so much milk?"

Just as he was about to turn around and just give up, he caught sight of a red container, a little further back than the rest of the assorted milk. High calcium. Fuck was it his god damn birthday or something?

Grabbing the probably more than necessary expensive milk, he made his way to the cash register. He passed by the candy aisle on the way and grabbed a candy bar for himself. Unnecessary sure, but he deserved it for being so fucking saint-like and going to the store at 3 fuckin' am.

"Hello!" a cheerful voice called from out of nowhere, causing Sans to nearly drop the milk. "Are you ready to check out?"

Turning around from the strange display of photo frames with pictures of humans already in them, Sans faced an oddly smiley human. And honestly it kind of pissed him off.

"Why're you so smiley?" he grunted, trying to regain his composure after being momentarily surprised.

"Well I am alive aren't I?" your laugh was oddly, genuine. "Isn't that reason enough?"

Sans was half tempted to tell him he could fix that for them, but he contained himself when he remembered how humans reacted to death threats. Pansies. "Yeah sure. Can i just pay and leave?"

"Of course! Right this way!" you grinned, leading him to the three check out areas. Only one, yours, was open, and you cheerily stepped behind it.

"Here's my shit," Sans grunted, tossing the milk and the candy bar onto the small table next to the register. You didn't react, simply smiling and scanning his items.

"Did you have a good day?" you questioned, glancing up for a second after telling him his total.

"I'm up at three in the morning getting milk and candy, do you think I've had a good fucking day?" Sans growled, his eye light glowing a dull red.