Death Greets Me

March 12,2031

March 12, 2031

Dear Diary,

You have slip throw the cobwebs of my life. I really don't know how it always happens. I keep telling myself I must make time to write within your pages. Writing upon your silk cream pages, to feel the motion of my hand brush against your leaf the sweet smell of new life waiting to be recorded against these pages always brings excitement within my veins. I never knew why really but sitting here staring into the seams of your core. It makes me happy to have you with me for so long. Being twenty-seven years old is not what it creak up to be. Slowly creeping up to be thirty, which is a shocker am getting old and my life is not getting better. Sitting here in my old room at my parent's house! what shame is this. I don't want to live here anymore, but what can I do can't afford to live anywhere else and really not fond of finding a roommate and go throw the drama of who clean this or don't want to bother with amount people that might invite over. I don't want to be mean to anyone just I like peace and quiet. I dislike the idea of people coming in and out of my house at any time of an hour. I should stop complaining, but the good thing is I got a job at a cafe called Dee-Bee. It a really calming place. The tips are amazing, and the pay is alright, but am hoping to get a second job soon. Well hopeful so I can get out here soon. My beloved dairy I'm not sure what to do anymore the stress is getting to me and I swear I'm starting to see things and hear thing every time am in my room alone lately not sure why.

I think the stress is getting to me, but I have something more interesting to write within your pages than me just complaining to you. Which I feel like will upset you even more than the fact I haven't written within your pages for so long. I hope you forgive me My beloved dairy. Well, I should get started. Last month I saw Felix again it was weird really. He came turns me asking me if I have any time to talk. Oh, ya this happens while I was working at Dee-Bee. I told him I would be on break in like fifteen minutes. He simply nods his head and took a sits in the back of the café. He sat there just drinking a cup of coffee. The weird thing is when I got off my break he wasn't there anymore. I look outside to see if he was there just doubt checking, but he wasn't there. I was really upset, and I didn't even know why he wanted to talk to me. I walk turns his table in the back of the café. Taking an oatmeal cookie. Stuffing it within my mouth. I sit down where he sat and notice a note on the table written to me. You can't believe what It said.

                                                                       Dear Angelia,

                          Sorry for leaving like this but hopefully we can talk soon.

 There is a question I be wanting to ask you for a while and not sure how to ask you.

                                           Hope you forgive me. Please be safe.

                                                                           Love,

                                                                         Felix Grey

I felt shocked at that moment. Felt my cheek burning under aluminum lights. I swear you would believe how red my face was. Then my mind got the best of me. Wondering what his question was. Which end up getting my face even redder. Oh, what did he wish to ask me? the situation in itself was weird and confusing. I thought I should just wait until we talk again, but lately haven't seen him around, but I know better than let to get my hopes up. Sometimes I feel like I'm a teenager again in these types of situation but am getting older now and I should know better than let a guy get my hopes up. But it can't be helped. He was my high school crush. He was the guy that was always on my mind. I thought about him every day and every night throw high school. Oh, how lovesick I was. Feel embarrassed thinking about it sometimes. Am not saying I didn't have any boyfriends or am ugly or anything just he was perfect he was the ideal guy. He was the number one guy I would drop everything in the world for, but that my heart talking and thinking with a heart like this never a good thing I suppose.

Hmm.... not sure what to do anymore with this heart dairy it been through a lot I guess it hasn't learned hmm...well... I was thinking of going to sleep, but that would be rude if I didn't tell you what scared me last week. I have never been this scared in my whole life and I swear I felt like I'm being watched every time I fall asleep, but not sure what to do about it anymore or who to tell besides you Dairy. I can tell you that my dreams have been getting deeper and deeper like a fairy tale. It's hard to remember sometimes, but all I remember is that guy. His face still cloaks in darkness. I can always feel his eyes staring deep into mines. Looking for the answer waiting for me to reply. Hoping for me to run away with him and finally be happy. I was thinking about my family I kept telling him I can never leave them and there something I must do before I go. I never knew what I meant by that. I didn't know where he was going to take me. Every time before I wake up, he always brings me to the field of flowers. It was always warm there and I loved it there, but every time he upset me that I turn around and run away in tears. I could never understand how someone can cry so much, but it was me crying and every time I wake up with the sun in my face, but last week was different there was someone standing in front of my bed. It was a pale cloak with black eyes. When you stare within them. You feel completely empty. It was walking a bit closer turns me, but when I open my mouth it disappears against the wind. I don't get it ... Why is death visiting me every night? why does it keep runaway every time I open my mouth. I felt as if I was close to dying or was it fear that something so dangerous was so close to me. I really don't know My beloved dairy... But it would have to come to an end. That it's for writing tonight. I will ask my mother to sleep next to me tonight ... sound kiddish, but what am I supposed to do. Well, I hope I write to you again sooner my beloved dairy.

As Always

Love

Angelia