Super SciFi Smackdown

2.4 Full Circle

"Where in the Fuck have you been?" Dana swore at the bug. "We were ambushed."

"I was taking a walk." Xacks brushed her off. "What the fuck did you do?"

"Me! I didn't do anything." Dana replied "Who are these things and why are they here."

"What do you know?" Scott piped in.

"They are Crarab." Xacks pronounced it in his native tongue as a sort of creaking. "The oldest race in the known universe, they are seeders, spreading from system to system and building civilizations. They are kind of a slow burn though, not exactly what you would call advanced."

"They seemed pretty advanced to me." Scott challenged him.

"Yeah, they are space faring but their puritan nature holds them back, it's rare to find anything new on a Crarab inhabited planet, think Amish."

"Amish with plasma weapons." Scott scoffed.

"So where did they come from?" Dana glared at Xacks skeptically.

"They have a city a few miles from here." Xacks admitted hesitantly.

"You landed us near a fucking city and you didn't tell us." Scott spat it. "What the fuck man."

"So what's the deal with these guys?" Dana motioned to the one remaining Crarab cowering among the bodies.

"Good question." Xacks replied making his way to supposed official. "Why are you here?"

He butchered the accent mercilessly, trying to sound tough but it was clear that the message got across when it began clicking out an answer.

"He says he is an official, something to do with their authority and that we are in violation."

"And that's why they slaughtered that man out there and attacked us?" Dana asked.

Xacks relayed the question quickly and tried to make out the answer through the scared captives stutters and false starts.

"He is from the fucking litter department." It was Xacks turn to spit it in disgust, bursting into a series of clicks clearly aimed at the city official before continuing. "He says we have tainted the land with bio waste, that we released unauthorized species into the ecosystem and we will be required to pay a fine and remove or destroy all waste."

"Are you serious?" Scott asked in disbelief. "All this death over so called litter?"

"It appears so." Xacks sighed. "And we have to dispose of this mess in an appropriate manner too apparently or face harsher penalties."

"He doesn't care that we killed his crew?" Dana asked in disbelief.

Xacks relayed the question only to get a lengthy response which seemed to turn into some kind of debate.

"What do we do now?" Dana interrupted them.

Xacks looked at her before relaying that question to another lengthy explanation. The Thoracian looked less than impressed as the smaller alien seemed to lecture him, pink fingers whipping wildly as he clicked. The official was still clicking wildly when Xacks, who still held his rifle, shot him in the face.

"What the Fuck?" Scott shouted in disbelief. "He was unarmed."

"Fuck him, he was a cunt." Xacks sneered. "The fine is not final until it is lodged at the office and as for these bodies, apparently they are not his department."

"Not his department?" Scott asked in disbelief. "What kind of fucked up system is that?"

"Sounds like its a lot like ours." Dana put forth

"And ours." Xacks added.

"I guess a bureaucracy is the same thing no matter where you go." Dana mused.

"If by the same you mean like whores are all the same. Big, small, red, brown, black, grey with spots, tidy or smashed to shit, in the end you always get fucked." Xacks clicked amused at himself.

"Well it's probably a good idea if we don't hang around here waiting for the parking inspector then." Scott pointed out.

"Well then you might want to start by dumping this lot." Xacks waved his gun in the direction of the bodies as he made his way back outside.

Dana wasn't about to let it be following him out leaving Scott alone to handle the heavy lifting.

"Hey what's going on?" She yelled after him.

"We have to get out of here." Xacks brushed her off, cutting the bindings that held the butchered soldier to the Crarab vehicle.

"I know that." Dana scolded, wrinkling her nose as the body fell in a crumpled heap. "What the fuck are you playing at."

He acknowledged her with a glance before letting out a loud whistle, summoning forth a small Crarab from the undergrowth.

"Dana meet ClickClack." He paused politely giving her time to respond.

"Uh, hi I guess." She stammered caught off guard.

"ClickClack will be joining us." Xacks told her before motioning to the craft and starting an exchange with the new alien that Dana could make nothing of. "He says he can move the vehicle into the ship for us. You might want to let Scott know he's coming in."

So it was with a slightly shocked tone that she informed Scott of their new companion. He asked all the same questions that Dana herself wanted answers to but didn't have. Time it seemed was short for some unknown reason as they had barely moved the carcasses of their enemies before the sound of an engine came to life and the craft came up the ramp. Xacks jumped from where he had been perched on the back as soon as the engine was cut, pulling the tablet he used to control the ship from a pouch, he closed the ship.

"What is the rush?" Scott asked before Dana had the chance.

"I want to be gone before we cop another littering fine and have more bodies to pile." Xacks shot at him still tapping the tablet, presumably getting the ship ready to launch.

"Fair enough." Replied Scott.

"What have you done?" Dana pushed.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Xacks ignored them both, still tapping on the controller. "We have a problem, shit is not working."

"What do you mean?" Dana asked, a feeling of worry starting to creep over her.

"The system won't let me take off. It's restricting my access to itself." Xacks raged. "What the fuck, it has no self. This makes no sense." Without another word he left them standing with ClickClack as he disappeared towards the cockpit.