Stake You

Chapter Eighteen

I didn’t return to school despite my injuries healing well enough for me to go back to my life. For an entire month, my mother acted like a mother. She had been hurt more than me, but it was she who took care of me. It was she who was there for me when the nightmares started. It was she who called Mark and told him I needed time away from the bar. It was she who took calls from people who wanted to speak to me. It was she who got me through the interviews with the police who were still searching for Sully, still trying to desperately figure out where all of the strange blood had come from, to figure out what Sully had done to it to make it unidentifiable. It was Mam who explained I hadn’t realised what I was seeing when I uploaded that video.

She made it all go away, and eventually, the rest of the world forgot about me.

The way I behaved was a completely different story. I gave up. Gave up trying to be the strong one, trying to be the one who took control of everything. I became what I had always been deep down, a waste of time and space. I spent hours doing nothing, all in a bid to stop my mind from running over what had happened, to stop myself from thinking, really thinking, about what I had gained and lost.

“It’s time,” Mam said one Sunday while I watched mind-numbing soaps on the television.

“For what?” I mumbled in answer.

“For you to wake back up,” she said. “It’s time for you to go take a shower and actually brush your hair. For you to wear something other than your pyjamas. For you to go back to school, back to work if you want to.”

“But I can’t—”

“I know how you feel,” she said, taking a seat next to me. “Trust me, I know. But I also know what feeling sorry for yourself does. Every day it’s going to get a little bit harder to find that person you used to be. I miss her, Dev. I want her back.”

“I don’t know who to be anymore. I never liked the way I was before, and now I’m worse than that. I don’t know where to go from here. I just…” I shook my head, and she held my hand, squeezing it gently.

“You have to start dealing. Talking about how you’re feeling.”

“Nobody wants to talk about the truth.” I gazed at her, pleading with her to just talk about what really happened, but she shook her head.

“The truth has no place in this world,” she said. “We can’t let people think you’re crazy. We have to protect you from that. But you need to find a way to purge the memories for your system. I need you to get back on your feet before you become exactly like me. I need you to break the cycle, Dev. Besides, I can’t stay home with you anymore.”

I frowned. “Richard.”

She shook her head, her eyes glistening with excitement. “No. A job. I got a job, Dev. It’s just a cleaning job, but it’s a start.”

“Where? How?”

She blushed. “Tom and Mark. I hope you don’t mind, but the job is cleaning the pub. They sacked the other cleaner while you were away, something about her taking advantage, and well, it was offered to me. I said yes, but I spoke to Mark about it, and he said you never have to work a shift with me if it makes you feel uncomfortable.”

I stared at her. “Working in a pub? Is that really the best idea for you?”

Her face paled again. She ran her tongue along her upper lip, and I worried that I had offended her.

“I know it’s an odd place for me, but the job came up, and if we’re going to change, then I need to throw myself into it. Yes, it’s going to be hard, and I’m going to have bad days whether I work or stay at home, but I’m feeling so strong lately. I feel as if… as if I could face anything after what we went through, and I know it sounds strange, but I can’t imagine anything worse coming along. I think we reached bottom, and the only way left is up.”