Cinderella's Ghost

Chapter 11: Small Talk

Chapter 11

Saturday came faster than I expected, but instead of heading off to Madam Clar's in the morning with a dreamy smile on my face and a skip in my steps, I found myself still at home, struggling to explain myself to a fuming Jarell.

"Can you repeat that?" Jarell asked, looking irked as hell. "I don't understand a thing you just said."

"I said, I can't go to Madam Clar's because it's too much for me. Becca just sent a reply to my message. She said there will be about ten other volunteers there today."

"So?"

"So I think it's too much for me," I said with a small voice. Even I know it sounded very much like an excuse, a weak one too. I felt lost, not quite knowing what that intangible thing was that pulled me back. The surprising thing? I was actually allowing it to do what it wanted: stop me from doing the things I had already planned forward. "Can we please take it slowly? I'll go on Friday. I promise. We end school early that day. I might even get to meet a few more people, Teri included. But not ten, all at once."

Jarell searched my face for a moment, then sighed, finally relaxing from his stiff posture. "Okay, fine. So what are we going to do today, now that you're not going? It's supposed to be your self-claimed off-day." He frowned. "I'm not going to let you get away with saying you want to stay at home even though it is a typical favourite past time of an introvert. Your circumstances are different from others out there, so you better think of something."

I grimaced and thought things through. "Well, we could go grocery shopping. It's usually what's done on... my Saturdays."

"Oh, yippee. Grocery shopping."

I thought back to the previous week and said irritably, not feeling sorry anymore, "Don't you start complaining again."

His eyebrows raised in amusement by my sudden change in demeanour. "I'm not going to. It's not like complaining can do anything about it." He shifted his footing. "Tell me then, little lady, what are you going to do after that? Anything to do with interacting with people? And I'm not counted. I'm a ghost."

"Why must it include interacting with people? As long as I'm making time for myself, defying Carrie, anything should do, right? And that includes... I don't know... watching TV?"

"And you think that's going to help you, is it, watching TV all day long?"

I scowled at him, but kept silent.

Jarell rubbed a hand down his face. "Since you've got nothing better to do, let's go visit me. I want to see how much I've recovered."

Not in any position to say no, I agreed as I held the memory of dad's death back.

True to his word, Jarell did not complain a single time when we made our way to the supermarket. When we arrived, he even gave some suggestions as we walked down the rows of shelves. By the time I finished shopping, I was in relatively high spirits. It was just like any weekend should be: relaxing, and I was starting to feel more glad than I should be about not going to Madam Clar's. Who would have thought that times spent with Jarell Anderson could come out like this too? I was beginning to think that the barrier between 'acquaintances' and 'friends' was crumbling, even, and that thought brought a feeling of calm in me.

"Have you ever got friends before Carrie and your stepsisters?" Jarell asked once we left the air-conditioned building. I was carrying two bags of groceries, one of which heavier than the other because of Jarell's recommendation of lemons and green tea.

I nodded surreptitiously, aware of some people on their way home from their own shopping. "But not many."

He tilted his head. "Why?"