I loved long. I loved hard. I thought he could fix me. I thought I was broken. I was wrong. Nobody understood. Nobody was there. And yet I was surrounded by people.
All the pain, all the anguish, all the broken, I couldn't let them know. I couldn't disrupt their perfect clean world. The thing is that world was filthy and tainted with its own pain. I found myself shelving my insecurities and emotions like burdens. I couldn't taint their world. Not when mine was broken.
Agnes Deed was an oddity to all. That's what they tell of me. Some say her life revolved around a pristine world of vanity, beauty, and superficial standards. It seems I had kept the utter ugliness of my world as such a solid secret, more than a lie, I tried to believe it myself. Some saw Agnes Deed as a soldier. Her life was rough around the edges but she was so strong. Though they didn't know you can't break whats already broken. And some looked at her life, my life, as quiet, reserved, peaceful. Then again Agnes Deed was a soldier. Her life was a war zone.
I had a childhood too. A decade passed and I believed all the lies they told me. I lived in my pristine world of vanity and purity and beauty. I loved like no other. I loved a boy more than I loved myself. Or so I thought. He was different. I felt like I could be real with him. I could tell him anything, everything. The good, bad, ugly, and broken. But in honesty as I looked down at my ignorant little childhood nothing was as it seemed.
We lived in our own little world. A world where everything real, and everything that mattered, faded away like fairy tales. We ignored and we were ignored. I thought it was better that way. We seemed happy. I felt happy. I never knew he didn't feel the same way.
All these years. There have been so many. Hundreds of problems, stories, secrets more like thoughts that made me what I am. A hidden, broken, wreck. And so alone. I lived a life of lies. I will continue to live a life of lies. After all I AM Agnes Delilah Deed. And if my life were anything, it would be a big fat lie, a rumor, and a hidden secret. All hush that nobody seems to see.
Till we meet again. I hate to be cryptic but thats how hiders and liars are.
Till next, where secrets will unravel and slowly reveal.
Sincerely,
The soldier, the child, and the oddity.
Agnes Delilah Deed.
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Painful Thoughts of The Hidden One (The Broken One Series #0.2)
Humor"Pretending is so much easier than fixing what's real." All my life I was thought to be ignorant. Ignore and be ignored. Fake smiles and petty lies were what we were. Hide your tears, hide your pain, hide your passion, and where did your coura...
