Hope {H.S}

chap 6: healing process

H A R R Y

I watched her fall onto the floor as she claws onto her neck to gasp for breaths. Her tears quickly rushed like waterfalls down her cheeks and loud coughs erupted from her chest. However, Me? I am clueless, literally. I didn't know what the hell just happened.

One moment, we were lying down side by side. The next, she's screaming bloody murder and crying. I couldn't help but feel kinda hurt when she told me she shouldn't have let me in. I tried to convince myself that maybe she was speaking out of pain.

However, did that truly make everything better? I understood that she was a girl with no belief in love whatsoever. Though, I wanted to be the one to change that.

"Hey darling, you need to breathe." I mumbled while walking over to her and picking her up gently. I sat down on the floor with her on my lap while she fought with me which only resulted in me tightening my grip on her.

This wasn't the most easiest thing, this girl knew how to beat the living shit out of things. I wasn't trying to be her victim at any cost.

Her loud sobs soon turned in soft whimpers, her hands tightened onto my shirt as I whispered sweet nothings into her ear for comfort. I rubbed her back gently, resting my chin on top of her head.

Once she had calm down, I felt her hands loosen from my damp shirt. She took the time to wipe her eyes before looking up at me. "I'm sorry." She mumbled, digging her fingers into her skin. I noticed it was quite a habit of hers. I took my hands placing it over top of her dainty hands to prevent her from hurting herself further.

"If you continue to dig your finger nails into your hands, I will bite you." I said, smirking against her skin. I was attempting to lighten the mood and get her giggling with a lousy joke. Her lips curved up into a beautiful pearly smile, tears building up in her eyes again.

"Don't cry, Riley." She shakily untangled herself from me, getting off of my lap. I guess I would be lying if I said I felt a piece of my heart leave along with her.

"I didn't mean to, um." She paused, slowly breathing in heavily. "I didn't mean to cause a scene."

I watched as she played with the ends of her hair, ever so delicately."You didn't." I stated, not wanting her to feel out of place or even slightly bad for whatever the hell just happened.

It wasn't her fault, she can't control when she has panic attacks or when she does not. "None of this is your fault, I assure you that." I watched her eyebrows knit up in confusion. "Why are you so hesitant in letting me in?" I asked, getting slightly closer to her.

I watched her hands move from her hair to play with her hands. I assumed by this gesture she was contemplating whether or not she should actually talk to me. I knew exactly what was going through her mind currently; should I let the greasy-haired idiot in?

Her face said it all and there was nothing else to it. Her eyes shift from her hands to my eyes. I felt my heart start to feel heavy in my chest, my hands getting clammy in seconds.

"Why do people care so much as to why you're feeling hurt only when you're crying?" She asked, searching my face for the answer she was seeking for. "Why won't they care when you're laughing and smiling on the outside, barely breathing on the in?"

I opened my mouth to give her the answer that she had wanted, only to close it once again. There was no answer for me to give to help her feel okay.

She had heard it all before and for her to hear it once more from some stranger she met a few days ago, it was utter bullshit.

She smiled weakly, nodding lightly as she took notice of me having nothing to say. It was just as she expected and I knew that.

"It's fine, I'm okay." She mumbled, wrapping her arms around her body to feel secure. Her words were spoken as if it had been repeated on a continuous loop.

"It's not okay. All I can tell you is I want to be here. For you, I want to be here."

Silence filled between us, it felt like years of nothing being said. However, it had only been a few seconds since I last put myself out there.

Did she not trust me? I mean, who would? If you had just met me a few days ago, would you actually trust and open up to me?

"Riley, this is all a healing process. If you let it destroy you or make you stronger; it's all up to you." I clarified, taking her hand in mine. "All of this may seem like a domino effect of negativity, however, I assure you these are just challenges to make you stronger. If you let it destroy you now, why bother the tough act?"

I watched her eyes glint in hope. I assumed she took in my words carefully, fully understanding what I was aiming at. I felt her small hand squeeze mine as she gave me a small smile. "Thank you." She whispered, gazing at me intently.

Maybe there was hope after all. This could all be the start of something new. I wanted her to trust me and feel close to me almost as much as I wanted to kiss her. However, I had to hold myself back. She needed a friend for the time being, not a greasy-haired idiot shoving his tongue down her throat.

"I think after all of this, we deserve some chocolate chip cookies." I smiled, getting up onto my feet. She giggled, following my actions. "Where are we going to get chocolate chip cookies?" She asked, curiosity filling her eyes.

I sharply gasp, looking at her in disbelief. "You do know I'm a baker right? We will bake them from scratch you imbecile."

I watched Riley stifle a laugh, avoiding any eye contact with me. "What is it, child?" I insisted, teasingly. Riley's eyes wander back up towards mine, letting out a few giggles. "You work at a café, Harold. I don't recall there being bakers in a café, unless you're a fraud."

This girl was just asking to catch these hands. Though, it made me happy that her mood lightened up extremely, she completely crossed a war that she cannot win. I am a baker, a good ass one at that as well. I ran towards her to tickle her to possible death.

I remembered back to one of the first times her and I had talked, she told me how annoying it was when someone tickles her. Riley taking notice of my actions, she dashed out my room and down the stairs.

"This isn't over, Floyd." I called, stumbling over a couple stairs. I was only slightly clumsy at times. I heard her giggles downstairs, my eyes scanning the room for the enemy. "Catch me if you can, Styles." She taunted as she stood behind the couch. After a few chases around the couch, she was too fast for me.

Quickly grabbing a pillow, watching Riley's eyes widen and her hands held up in surrender. I laughed slyly as I threw a pillow at her hard which made her fall back. Shit Harry, you idiot.

I quickly ran over to her to make sure she was okay. Obviously, worried that I had hurt her. "Riley I am so-" I felt a hand tugging me down and me falling on top of the girl below me.

Our faces just centimeters apart, her hazel-brown eyes met my green ones. "Sorry." I whispered finishing my sentence, feeling out of breath. Riley nodded faintly as she glanced down at my lips and back at my eyes. I felt my world stop as I slowly leaned in. Finally, a moment I had been yearning for from the day I had met her, literally.

All of a sudden, Riley's stomach rumbled. Ending my moment and bringing me back to reality. I watched her laugh while her cheeks began to heat up. "So, about those cookies baker Styles."