Fated Touch

You sometimes ask yourself what's more important - blood or your soulmate? Of course, you know the answer that your parents will give you; blood. There are whispered tales of purebloods that have been disowned for choosing their soulmate over keeping their line pure. You don't want to end up like one of them. Once, you would have been free to choose your soulmate foremost, but not anymore. Not since Sirius wrote a letter home informing you that he had been sorted into Gryffindor. Not since Sirius found his soulmate in a male halfblood. Sometimes, late at night when you're alone with your thoughts, you think that you might hate Sirius. You haven't even started Hogwarts yet, and he has already fixed your future for you. Those thoughts never last very long.

~^~

It's September 1st and Sirius have dragged you to meet his friends. There's a smile on your lips and your chest feels tight because even if your relationship was rocky during the summer, Sirius is now actively including you in his life. Unlike your parents, you still love your brother with all your heart.

"Regulus." Sirius says and pushes you forward. You stumble, and a dark-skinned boy with black messy hair, round glasses and a crooked grin catches you in his arms. Warmth spreads through your body at the touch and your heart starts to beat faster in your chest. You look up at him with a shy smile on your lips. He's your soulmate.

"I'm James. James Potter." he introduce himself and help you stand upright. You can't get a greeting out because of the butterflies in your stomach, but he does not seem to care. You hope Sirius have talked about you. For one glorious moment you imagine a future together with James - because surely your parents would approve more of a male as long as his blood is pure? - but then it's over and your heart is left in pieces.

"This is Evans," James introduces, and a girl with red fiery hair steps up next to him. James bends forward ever so slightly to whisper mischievously in your ear. "My soulmate."

You take an involuntary step back, right into Sirius' chest. You can feel your brother's worried eyes on you, but your heart is gaining speed and you fear it will come up through your throat and make you choke. With wide eyes, you turn around and run. Your soulmate already has someone else. You hear Sirius calling after you, but you ignore him. Instead, you step into the first empty compartment that you see and lock the door behind you. You ignore the elder student that was hiding in the compartment's shadows as you try to calm down your beating heart.

It's first hours later that you can properly breathe again, and you decide to distance yourself from your soulmate even if it means distancing yourself from your brother because hopefully that will lessen the pain.

~^~

Your first year at Hogwarts is over both too slowly and too quickly. As expected, as you don't know if you wanted; you were sorted into Slytherin. It helped in your decision to distance yourself, since you had no reason to spend time with the second years, but it made the responsibility weigh even heavier on your shoulders. You had already been the perfect son, but this is the first time that the role feels constricting. Every time your eyes meets Sirius', you feel sick, and every time your eyes meets James', you feel your heart breaking all over again. You regret that you fled on the train, but you would do it again if you could.

The elder student whose compartment you foolishly hid in turned out to be a second year Slytherin, and you avoid him more religiously than you avoid your brother and soulmate. You want nothing to do with Severus Snape, who is best friends with James' soulmate, and bullied by Sirius and James. You want even less to do with him when you overhear how he believe that Evans' is his soulmate and that James confounded her, because you find yourself wishing that it would be the truth. You feel horrible afterwards for it.