Fated Touch

Epilogue

You stare at the letter that Regulus' house elf just handed you, afraid to open it. You had just seen him last night, you had just been making love to him less than 24 hours ago. The letter seems so innocent but there's a feeling of dread in your stomach. The yellow and black of your dorm feel too joyous and it makes you sick.

For a moment you consider not reading the letter, consider living in unknowing bliss until Christmas comes and you're forced to join the Dark Lord for the duration of your break - the Dark Lord you only joined to protect Regulus. You can't do it. The letter is burning you, begging you to open it.

At last, you give in, thankful for the emptiness of your dorm.

My dearest, Barty, the letter starts, and you can already feel tears gathering in the corner of your eyes.

If you're reading this, I'm no longer with you. I am - was - will always be - happy with you. Although our circumstances were hard, you were my lover, my soulmate, and that means the world to me.

I wish you would've been awake when I said my goodbyes, I wish I could've stayed on path.

I wish you can find it in you to forgive me.

I risked my life because I love you, and I want to give you the future you deserve, but if you're reading this then I have failed not only you but us. I hope more than anything that someone will continue what I started in the future.

I can't tell you what it is, I value your life too much. Just know that you were in my thoughts the whole time.

Forever yours,
Regulus

By the time you reach the last line, the parchment is decorated with wet spots from where your tears have landed. You remember holding Regulus in your arms during the train ride from Hogwarts only months earlier, you remember how he cried into your chest as you whispered words of reassurance into his hair. You remember thinking that Regulus took on too great a burden and wishing you could share it with him.

You remember promising yourself to always be there for him, to always protect him, and now it's too late.

The letter gets crumpled in your hands as the tears continue to fall from your eyes.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," you curse under your breath, wishing that you could see Regulus once more if only to punch him in the face for leaving you like this. He should've waked you up, he should've told you as he left you at Kings Cross that morning.

The thought suddenly crosses your mind, that he left you at Kings Cross that morning and didn't tell you goodbye. You didn't think much of it then, happy getting as many kisses as possible before the train left the station, but now you finally understand his reluctance to utter the words.

He took away your only chance to say goodbye, likely because of his own selfish reasons. You have never considered Regulus selfish before now - the boy thought he had to carry the world. You always had to be selfish on Regulus' behalf, and this is where it got you.

"I never got to say goodbye," you sob, your face pressed against the crumpled letter, your tears smudging the last trace of Regulus left in the world.

You wish he would've told you what he died for, you wish he would've waited until you could've been there to help him, you wish that he didn't leave you a letter and a burden.

You had never realised how heavy the world is on your shoulders until that's the only legacy that Regulus left behind.

Selfishly, you consider confronting James, demanding to know if Regulus told him more than you, but you don't want to share your mourning. You don't want James to mourn Regulus. You know that you should tell Sirius, or Walburga, or someone, but you want to keep something of Regulus all to yourself.

If it has to be Regulus' death, then so be it. It's something that's completely yours.

If only it wasn't.