MOONLIGHT NINJA

EPILOGUE

Epilogue:

When I arrive at our village after a long arduous incessant journey, I get off my horse and cry at the wreck that my village has become. I feel a singe inside my heart but what shatters it into terrible pieces is seeing my father kneeling like a hermit beside a hut made from the remnants of the village rubble.

He is facing the Mountain of Dark Skull; his shoulders slump in defeat; his eyes watery although there are no tears falling from them. I, however, can see the toil of sorrow and exhaustion in him; the despair and helplessness that literally emanates from his mighty posture. It does not suit him but I'm certain that I am the one who reduce him to this pathetic state. Why have I ever done this to him — my very own father?

I hold back the lump in my throat and try not to stutter as I call him. "Baba..."

I watch him close his eyes slowly and the tears that he has been holding back stream down. "Ai Nyu, it has been a long time since I have heard your voice but I want to tell you, I miss you very much. I really miss you. This might have been too late but I want you to know that I love you and I am extremely proud of you. I might have not told you but the happiest day of my life is the moment that I first hold you in my arms; I am thinking during that time that you are the gods' greatest gift to me. You may be stubborn but you are strong and intelligent. You are everything that I wish that my daughter should be even if I have never told you." He presses his face against the ash-filled ground and weeps agonizingly. "Please talk to me for the last time, I don't mind if I will be insane until the rest of my life as long as I hear your voice today. I beg you."

"Baba..."

"I am sorry for not being the best father to you; I am sorry for neglecting you; I am sorry for not taking care of you in a way that a parent should; I am sorry for not living up to the promise that I made to your mother to always protect you. I am the worst person — the worst father. But even if everything is too late, I will always love you and no one can ever replace you inside my heart. You will always be my beloved daughter. Wherever you may be, I hope that you will be happy at and peace."

"Baba, don't!" I cry and rush to my father unable to take his torment. I try to assist him to an upright position but just like a vegetable, he staggers back.

"Ahhh!!!" He wails to the ground like an infant as his shoulders shakes convulsively. The guilt and anguish that I feel magnified; I wish the ground will just swallow me.

"Hhhhh... I am the worst person. I am worthless — totally worthless."

What have I done?

"Baba, listen," I shake my father, trying to put some semblance of sanity within him but he just continues to cry. "Please, baba, I beg you listen to me. I am not dead! I am alive. Please don't do this! I can't stand you crying for a worthless daughter like this — I don't deserve your pain and sorrow..."

My father looks at me; the cloud in his eyes still hovering over them. "Did you know that your mother tells me that you look just like me?" He laughs tremulously before breaking down. "I told her with pride in my heart, certainly, after all you are my daughter. My very own and flesh blood. Your mother loves you and before she breathes her last breath, she beseeches me to give you love and affection that you may not feel the need for any maternal love." His face twists into self-loathing. "I promised her but I haven't fulfilled it! I have treated you coldly because I am being a coward and I let my grief pull me down. I should have done better as a father but no, you're gone. You're viciously taken away from me!"

My chest tightens from the heaviness inside.

"Remember your cousin, Princess Li Lei Shuang? You are very fond of her. I saved her and killed her abductor. I know this will make you happy because you love her very much."