cracks

2.

How can you read people? It's not hard, you just have to pay attention to the little things. One example: The mashed potatoes on my plate are too salty and the chicken a little too dry. Mother, also called Miss Schneider, is an excellent cook. She puts her heart and her soul into everything that she cooks. Before we moved out of our old house in New Jersey she would invite the whole street for dinner. Duck a l'orange, mellow cornbread, creamy pasta, chocolaty pie and exquisite wine that nobody dares to open. She wrote two cook books and has her own bakery. My mom is a model for every housewife. But even the finest cookie has cracks. Somewhere between peeling the potatoes, and breading the chicken, she started thinking. Her eyes must have stared into the distance so she didn't pay attention on how much salt she was putting into the food or how long the poor chicken was in the pan. Her thoughts must have swallowed her.Sometimes she is successful and comes out of her whole. But not today. I look at her, her dark hair is perfectly tied back into a slick bun. One tiny strand is sticking out and falling into her face. Her chin is resting on her folded hands and she is directing her green eyes at the empty seat in front of her. If you couldn't tell by now, we are having dinner but my dad is fucking my mum's sister. Obviously he doesn't know that we know. I caught them putting each others tongues inside their throats at our Christmas party last year. Now, what a normal 16 year old would do when she saw her dad kissing her aunt inside her parents bedroom, would be crying and running away, locking herself away. But I observed them for a couple of minutes, got bored and went to the living room to eat some of the apple pie my grandma made. You think I don't care? Well, honestly I really do but does it really change something? I mean does it change the fact that my dad decided to betray us? Does it change the feelings he got towards my aunt and the feelings he doesn't have towards my mum? The ugly truth is he already chose for himself and for us. We are damned to spend this long and silent dinners together without even daring to say something that could potentially make it less hard. I told my mum about my discovery but she already knew. She also chose for herself, she chose to stay and you know why? People want to be perfect. Nobody likes broken things, nobody fancies about broken families. Society wants us to be beautiful and stands behind our mirrors, whispering who we should be. I take a spoon of my green beans and shove them inside my mouth. They taste sad.,, How was school today?", my mother asked still looking at the empty seat. I take a long sip of my soda, leaning back and stretching myself.:,, I fucked my teacher, Mr. Goodman. You know, the one that looks like a giant meatball." I made a gesture, forming the shape of huge meatball. I look at her, awaiting her reaction. Vacantly she takes a sip of her wine glass and with a hollow voice she says:,, That sounds wonderful. Did you take your medicine?" I roll my eyes:,, I crushed it and poured it into your wine." Suddenly she spits out the wine and starts coughing:,, YOU DID WHAT?" I start grinning, standing up and cleaning the table. Mother looks at me with a puzzled and angry expression, finally. ,, Mother, mother. I'm a really precise and diplomatic, young girl. Putting SSRI in your wine is not my style. You should know that." Her expression starts to form itself to guilt:,, I-I'm sorry, Kennedy. I know that I'm not paying attention lately, it's just.." I look at her with a blank expression, our facial features are almost the same. But I got my dad's dark eyes.:,,You are weak." Mom stares at me, she seems hurt. The silence between us is as thick as a knife, I could feel her pain cutting through mine. Without another word I make my way to the stairs, up to my room. Leaving the broken woman with the amazing cooking skills and her perfect life alone at the family dining table.

I'm standing in my bathroom, locking eyes with my reflection. My pink hair falls into big waves over my shoulder. I have got a really sharp face, my eyes are too big and seem almost black. You can't really see them but l've got little freckles on my tiny nose. Only part I like about myself are my lips, they are big and plumb. Honestly, they would look nice if I didn't bite them bloody all the time. All in all my face looks like something that God didn't have time for. Like he was too busy making other people beautiful, that's why he took everything that was left and ta-da! I I sigh and open the cabinet. Time for the happy pills. I eye the yellow packaging and take out a pill. ,,Stupid shit.", I mutter, take the pills and flush them down the toilet. What's the point anyway, they don't let me sleep. I start whistling while brushing my teeth. Then I put on an oversized t-shirt with a rolling stones logo that reaches my knees. It used to be in my father's closet, I like stealing his stuff. Now it is 10pm, I should continue to stack all my CDs. Suddenly I feel like being watched again so I turn around till I face the window with my ledge that I turned into a reading lounge. I suppress a scream, it is the neighbor's guy that stared at me through his window today. Now the fucker is doing it again. But how come I have never seen him before? He gives me an arrogant smile, his eyes traveling every inch of my body. I take a deep breath and give him a disgust look. How does he dare? I open the window and give him the sign to open his too. Our rooms are just a few meters away, which makes it easy for us to communicate. Pervert opens his window and leans onto it's frame. The moon throws a light shade on his face, now I can see it for the first time. His skin is pale and it looks like snow covering every inch of his skin. His hair is dark and thick, rather ruffled. As if he just woke up but it looked just so right on him. Strangers nose was long but even, his cheekbones high and defined. Like someone created his face out of stone and with desire. His eyes had a light but sad blue. They seem to suck in all the beauty but with beauty comes pain. It wasn't like the ocean, it seems like fragile, colored crystal. God, he even had dimples. Okay, that's not fair..the only imperfect thing is his front tooth. It's slightly cracked but it gives him a hard look. Fuck, I am staring at him. Kennedy Schneider doesn't stare at people, what the hell is going on?,,You are drooling, pinky." I give him an angry look. I'm not d-....never mind: ,, Sorry, but as long as you have no petition for stalking girls because of the dissatisfaction after your penis removal, I have to inform the cops." I blink with my eyes and give him a sweet smile. He bites his lips and leans forward, arms pressed on the ledge. Jesus, how tall is he? Pervert's voice is deep and warm, seems to drip like honey:,, Forgive me, I just never saw a girl with a cock, walking with so much grace." He gives me a crooked smile before closing the window and turning off his light. Wait, did he just call me a man?