What Lies Ahead Matters Most.

Chapter One.

"Yeah, it was fun," he said sarcastically smiling at me. "Especially the part where your beer fell all over me."

I nudged him and laughed a little, wrapping his jacket closer around me.

I was sitting with Matt, a guy I have been dating for a while, on a wall in some deserted street. It was a little after nine thirty, and we were talking about a party both of us had been at earlier this night.

I turned to him and smiled a little, "No seriously, it was really boring."

He smiled back at me, "Indeed it was."

For a moment, none of us said anything. Then he suddenly took my hand and leaned closer to me. Oh no, please don't, I started begging silently, but it was no use. His face was only inches away from mine and before I could do anything, he kissed me. I jerked away quickly. He looks at me confused and slowly let go of my hand, "Is something wrong?"

"No…Yes…I don't know," I muttered and looked down twisting my hands in my lap. Then I said in a lower voice, "I told you before, I'm not really comfortable with a lot of physical contact.'"

I heard him sigh and slowly looked up.

"We are together Lauren, it's all right to kiss, you know," he said in a low, rather calm, voice.

"I never said we were official or anything like that," I pointed out, but immediately regretted it. I bit my lower lip hoping he wouldn't take it too serious. However, of course, it was no use.

"What?" he exclaimed and looked at me. I was about to say something but he just continued talking. "Then what would you call us, if we aren't official," he said, air quoting the word, "And why are we here now, together?"

"Well," I started feeling more and more uncomfortable, and I wasn't really finding an answer for both of his questions, "We have only been dating two weeks."

He now looked just annoyed, "Normal people usually kiss after the first date. We have been on several dates, and all we did was hug. I respected that because I thought you felt a little uncomfortable because we only knew each other for a couple of months. But now, after three weeks, yes it's three weeks not two, I really can't find any explanation for your actions. You know, John and Shannon hooked up after one week."

I glared at him ignoring everything he said; I couldn't let him make me feel bad about myself now. "Then why don't you go ask Shannon out?" I asked, but my voice came out a little like a hiss. 

He looked at me with a mixed expression of hurt, anger and disgust on his face, "You know what, maybe I will." And with that, he jumped off the wall and started walking away.

I watched him go, and then suddenly remembered something and called out, "Matt wait."

 He turned around, and I could see a little glimpse of hope in his eyes. I sighed and took off his jacket holding it out for him to take, "You forgot your jacket." 

He shook his head, shoved his hands into his jean pockets and said, "Just keep it." Then he turned around and walked around the next corner. I looked after him until he vanished, then I got out my cell phone and dialed my best friend Eve's number.

This wasn't the first time something like this happened, actually if I think about it, it was really peaceful comparing it with other times. Now when I say 'other times' you may think that I date a lot of guys and just break up with them after a short while, but no, that's not the case. I date very little, in my three years of high school I only dated four times, and none of them lasted more than two months and all of then eventually led to the same thing, an ugly breakup.