Love is an type of wonderful cruelty

Chapter 3

I went back to the desk and handed in my spare key because I knew that I would more then likely lose my keys so I figured giving it back to the reception to look after it would probably be the best thing to do. After all of that stress I became really tired and could really do with staying awake for another few hours to get settled in instead of taking a nap, plus it was only dinner time
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AN- in this story it's lunch and dinner instead of Dinner and tea or what ever you guys say
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So I had to eat aswell.
I went to the coffee machine and grabbed a latte to keep me awake for a while.
I got to my room, 22B, and pulled down the handle to see if it was open or not, I was kind of hoping that it would be locked because then my room mate wouldn't be home and I wouldn't have to go through the awkward business of introducing myself but no, the door was open; my room mate was in witch meant, awkward introducing. Great.
I open the door and stepped into the apartment, it smelt good. I was expecting it to smell of sweat and shit because of it being a boys room but no it smelt of lavender and Jasmine, my 2 favourite scents. I like this guy already.
I walked round the corner into the 'sitting area' just to see the beautiful guy with the black hair that I may or may not have a small crush on in witch I saved from bullies sitting on the couch watching sword art online! He didn't see me, thank god, he was facing away from me to be honest I think he was to engrossed in the TV to even realise that some else was in the room. Bless him. I didn't know what to say. So, me being the awkward fuck I am just said
"Ahh no don't spoil it, I haven't seen this episode yet!!"
Witch was true, I hadn't and I am a really big fan of sword art online but still I could've come up with a better way to inform the cute guy I saved that I was going to be living with him. Fuck why am I so awkward.
"Omg! Hi, it's you, dan, the guy who saved my sorry ass down in the lobby! " is all Phil could say after I startled him with my request of no spoilers.
"And I'm your new room mate I guess"
"Oh gosh that's great, I was so scared that i was going to be put with another dick that beats me up, and sorry about sword art I'll pause it" he said pausing the TV
"Me too, I was shitting coming into this room but I guess that I have nothing to worry about now and thanks, I hate spoilers"
"What episode are you on dan"
"I'm on episode 3"
"Oh I'm only on episode 4, here I'll start it from the begging for you"
"Oh thanks" i say kicking my shoes off and jumping on the small couch, it looked bigger when I was stood up, but in actual fact, it's tiny so I have to sit really close to phil, Witch I'm not complaining about to be fair.
Phil and i watched 2 more epiasodes and as i reached for the remote to switch on episode 7 i felt something on my shoulder. Phil had at some point fallen asleep on my shoulder without me realizing. DAMN. He is so adorable.
I look at the time, it was only 4;55 pm. Phil must have been up late last night, unless, shit i forgot, he hit his head pretty hard earlier. What if he passed out, or what if he has died. My mum and school and everyone always told me not to fall asleep when i bang my head. What did they mean by that. At this moment tons of things started running through my mind as i just stared gormlessly at the beautiful. Sleeping possible unconcious man on my shoulder.
I decided i was just overreacting and instead of forming some massive plan I'll just try and wake him up first.
I started gently patting him at first because I didn't want to look like a crazy person. Nothing. I carried on patting him and softly said his name. Nothing. I started to gently shake his shoulders when phil slowly sat up off my shoulder and streched.
"whats up" he said mid yawn.
"oh um ye sorry, i was just checking you werent dead, yano, cause of the, um, thing down in the lobby" ughhh  im so awkward!
"Oh yeah, I should of said that I was falling asleep in case I did slip in a coma, Yano it took 2 aspirins, an ice pack and an hour to get my head to stop hurting' he claimed looking quiet disappointed in himself. We just met and I already absolutely hate seeing him like this.
"Wow, I don't even know those guys but I already hate there guts, usually I walk around with head phones in, a hoodie on trying to blend in (A.N. subtle falling in reverse reference) but I feel like if I saw them even approach you in a negative way I will slam there heads so hard into a locker they'll know no better then to act brain dead" I said pissed off.
WAIT. Why the fuck did I just say that to a fit guy I just met. It's not even like we're good friends or anything yet. Oh god. He's gonna find out I like him. Oh fuck he's gonna think I'm a freak and never talk to me again. What am I going to do? I'm going to calm the fuck down and grow a pare of balls that's what I'm going to do.
I realise Phil wasn't really paying attention as he was deep in thought and he looked like he was depressed but I can't assume that because that would be wrong unless less he's been medically given depression I guess.
I apologise anyway.
"I'm sorry I'm awkward, but anyway are you okay you look so sad, do you want me to do anything."I ask
"Huh, sorry I was just thinking about something and no I'm okay I don't need anything but thanks for asking"he explains with that sad look on his face again.
"Well do you want to tell me what it is that your thinking about, we might not be close yet but I can tell we're going to be and anyway people say I'm a good listener and personally I don't think my advise is half bad either"I chuckle awkwardly.
I can see Phil is contemplating telling me or not so I add on "of course you don't have to tell me if you don't want, don't think I'm forcing you"
"No,no, it's just that, I moved school 6 times, I've been everywhere and each time I got really badly bullied and I can't take it much more, I was told boarding school was different and its Not its still the same rubbish just with posh accents"he cries sounding angry but mostly sad of course.
I didn't know what to say, how do I make this perfect, perfect man feel okay again.
"And i don't even have any friends to take any of the stress away, I'm useless and not worth the air I breath" he whispers to himself. I still heard it. I heard it loud and clear and it broke my heart.
"Well I'm here now, and I will be by your side and make sure those little shits don't come near you, not once." I say truthfully meaning every word.
"Thanks dan but you can't fix me, I'm like a glass bottle that smashed years ago" he said heartbreakingly. I'm tired of hiding any longer I know we just met but I'm going to do whatever it takes to make the Beauty feel happy again.
"Phil your perfect, I know we just met but trust me, when you were lying next to me just then and in the lobby all I could think
was how beautiful you are and I'm so very sorry you feel like this but I will make you feel right again" I chime out half regretting it half proud.

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Authors note
Thank you for reading this, but yeah, I'm sorry for the shittyness of it all, my plan was to make dan hold back his feeling for a while but Yano what fun is that when you could be using that time to write some serious flirting.
Toodles xx
-jas ❣️