"We're almost there. I guess we need to work on your sand legs. You're used to the sea." She smiled and continued to navigate to a small house in the distance.
Bam continued to wobble through the grassy sand dunes unaccustomed to their feel under his boots. In the distance, he could see a turquoise colored house with brightly painted yellow shutters nestled back from the shoreline. He was anxious to get out of the heat. South Carolina in July was nothing like Alaska in July. He knew she longed for her beach, her ocean and he was happy to accommodate her return to Carolina while business was slow back home.
As they reached the porch, she turned around and kissed him. "Thank you for bringing me home."
He was happy to see her smile again. It had been a hard transition to the bush for her but Bam had carefully explained the difficulties of living off the grid. She had sacrificed a great deal of herself to be with him and if this is what she needed, he would gladly grant her a respite if only to fill her soul again with the life that had been taken from her.
As they entered the cottage, she announced, "Welcome to Isla Sonne. That means Island of the Sun."
"So this is your famous sunshine spot." Bam surveyed his surroundings. He could see touches of her everywhere in all the details and the colors. "It looks like you." It was a bright, happy place just like her.
Bam dropped the beach gear in the open area and walked directly to a wall covered in photos. The wall was an eclectic mix of frames in all sizes and shapes each holding what he assumed were family and friends. "Is this you?" He inquired of the photo showing a girl in a bikini wearing what appeared to be a sash and crown.
"That was me in a former life....no princesses here unless I now qualify as a bush princess." She replied back.
"Maybe you can model that look for me later." He flashed his baby blues her way.
"Is that part of payback?"
He nodded in a most devilish way.
"Come on, let's not waste a minute. We can put this stuff up later. There's some swim suits in the bedroom closet. See if one of those fits and we'll hit the water." She grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom to change.
Bam found a couple of selections and settled on a neon lime green board short. "Wow, this isn't exactly a good look for me."
She exited from the bathroom in a one piece color blocked suit that accentuated her long legs. "We definitely need to get some color on you my friend. Has your body ever seen the sun?"
Bam was a little on the white side. Sunbathing wasn't an Alaskan sort of sport for him. She did admire how well he looked. The work on the Integrity had transformed his physique over time filling out his arms and chest. She sighed just thinking about how handsome he was. She grabbed his hair and pulled his long mane into a ponytail and secured it with a rubberband. "You'll thank me for this later when I don't have to brush tangles out of your hair."
They slowly made their way to the beach. It tickled her to see him have so much trouble walking through the dunes to the more stable wet sand. He usually walked with a confidence that never made you doubt who was in charge.
They walked for awhile and she pointed out sand dollars and sea turtle nests. She described her family vacations at Isla Sonne and how the cottage had passed from her grandparents to her father and now to her. She missed her family but as all things do in life, they had passed away and the cottage had come to her in her father's estate.
Bam saw her eyes sparkle as she continued with her stories of summers past, cookouts on the beach and midnight skinny dipping. She seemed different here on the beach like the well of her soul was being filled again by the salt air and ocean breeze. It was a good feeling. He pulled her closer to him and hugged her so tightly that he felt she would melt right into his soul. He whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry. I should have been there."
"It wasn't your fault, Joshua." She turned and walked to the edge of the ocean and let the waves lap at her feet.
Bam walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. His chin rested on her shoulder. "I should have never left you alone."
"Joshua, if for one minute, I thought I was in danger, I would have never left your side. It wasn't meant to be this time."
She turned to face Bam and placed her hands on the sides of his face and looked deeply into his eyes. "Joshua Brown, I have everything I need and want right here, right now. When the time is right, we can try again."
Bam knew she was right but couldn't help feel that he had failed her in a way that was unimaginable. He had left for a short two day delivery to Pelican Bay. He had left her in the care of his mother, Ami, and his brother, Noah. He never suspected nor did she, the turn of events that would happen in those two days. In those short two days, he had lost a baby and almost his wife. When he departed Browntown, he was an expectant father anticipating the arrival of his first born child. She began to feel poorly that evening while he was away and had stopped by Noah's tent to speak with him. She collapsed in Noah's tent and he had called for Ami's assistance. By the time they could get her to Hoonah Bay, she had lost the baby through a miscarriage. He had almost lost her too. She had lost so much blood. Ami and Noah had been successful in getting her to the local medical center in the skiff and had her airlifted to the nearest hospital. By the time Bam had gotten to the hospital, the ordeal was over. He had gone from being an expectant dad to mourning an inconceivable loss. He had beat himself up for leaving her alone and had believed he could have done something to change the course of events. She had reassured him as did the doctors that nothing would have changed the outcome of events.
She remembered the look of terror and of sadness on his face when he entered the hospital room. She had never seen those extremes in his emotions. She tried to be strong for him and tried not to show her emotions. When they returned to Browntown, she had become quiet and sullen like all the happiness and sunshine had been drained from her soul. She went through the motions of living, but not really living. He could feel the distance building between them and that's when he suggested they go home to her sunshine place.
That was the first time since their loss that he saw a flicker of life in her eyes. She needed a change of scenery and Bam would have moved heaven and earth to get her there. Now they were here and he could slowly see her soul awakening again.
"I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."
"You never lost me, Joshua. We all grieve in different ways. Yours was more outwardly and I kept my grief inside. There were days that the only reason I could get out of bed was because of my love for you. I wasn't angry with you. I just couldn't process what happened to me, to us, to our baby."
Bam hugged her again. He held her hand as they walked quietly back to Isla Sonne.
"Hungry?" She asked as they entered the cottage.
"I'm starving but I don't think you'll find what I want in the refrigerator." Bam scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom.
"Mr. Brown, what are you doing?" Bam dropped her in a huge pile of pillows on the bed.
Bam just smiled and whispered in her ear. "I'm making Brownies."
