Bungou Stray Dogs One Shots

Nakajima Atsushi X Reader

Requested by: TheFancyHatter
Reader's first name: f/n
Reader's last name: l/n

You sat comfortably in your small clerk desk in the detective agency, ready to pack your stuff up as a day of work ended. It was almost the end of your first month's work at the agency, and you already felt like you were getting along with your colleagues like family. It was a relaxing and caring atmosphere, just like how you would've imagined your dream job to be. To speak the truth, you have taken a special interest in one special person in the building: Nakajima Atsushi. As far as you know, he came only a week or two before you, therefore only a newbie. His sense of humour truly intrigued you since you've had your first conversation by the water station, and you have been taking extra notice of him ever since. Despite your differences in positions, you a clerk while him a field agent, he found you a nice companion, and perhaps, a friend, to casually chat to. However, as for your part, these feelings of friendship slowly developed into something else.

Shoujo manga has always been one of your top favourites in a reading list. With naive fantasy, you looked forward to those occurrences in the story setting their way into your own life. That was, when you were younger, actually. As you matured, you came slowly into the realisation that such events could not possibly exist in reality. Such coincidences, clash of feelings, and so much more, were all to unrealistic, yet some part of you clung onto a childhood fantasy. It was only until you started falling for Atsushi like sinking into a swamp, did you start to understand the feelings of shoujo manga protagonists. The urge to go out of your way just to take glimpses of him without conversation grew stronger by day until your daily motivation depended solely on that. It was such a crazy feeling that someone who has never gone through it could never understand its intensity and even, tortures. Whenever he wasn't in sight, even if just for an hour or two, every single breathing moment was strenuous. The thoughts of him, what he was doing, what did he think of you, what he cared about, who he cared about....... They ran through your head endlessly in late nights, so fast and tangled, that it was all too suffocating, too hard to bear. There was no way for you to stop the thoughts, they wouldn't leave, no matter what you told yourself, what you tried to do to take your mind off. So you gave in, and contented yourself with living through hours and hours of sufferings created out of nowhere by your own mind. It was hopeless to attempt to stop thinking about him.

As for today, Atsushi had gone out on a mission right after lunch, and you haven't seen him since. Naomi came and urged you to walk home with her, since you two lived roughly in the same direction and has gotten quite close lately. You saw her drag Tanizaki by the arm forcefully around with a contented smile. You smiled to yourself, ah, those two.

"What, f/n-chan, hurry up." She said.

"Um, actually-"

The office door bursted open, sending paperwork flying all over the desks.

"What the-" Naomi started.

Kunikida stood by the door, his shirt slightly ruffled and dirty. Shachou stood up abruptly with a stern face. Kunikida bowed down sharply, and with a deep breath, said out loud "I'm sorry!  The mission was a failure. I will file a report by the end of today!"

He stood up again and looked around the room. Then, with a sigh, he said, "Atsushi... He was pretty stricken, so I kind of left him to himself in the dormitory."

It was as if the candle of hope and direction has been for you. You knew what you wanted and what you needed to do, as clear as daylight. You sprang from your seat and pushed your way past Kunikida then out of the door.

"Hey f/n-" Naomi's voice trailed behind you.

"Sorry!" You yelled even though you were already halfway down the corridor.

You ran through the busy streets of Yokohama, pushing and shoving pedestrians aside without paying any heed. The distance between the agency and the dormitories weren't very far, so in time, you reached the small, quiet neighbourhood where the dormitories sat. Atsushi's room was the one second from the end of the isle, and though he never invited you over, you knew like the map of your own toilet where he lived. Standing right in front of the door, you stopped to calm your nerves which got even more restless from all the running.

Then you knocked.

No one answered. You tried to knock again, a little harder this time, but with your push, the door fell open. You were about to apologise automatically, yet seeing that there was no living soul nor sound, you stopped yourself. Instead, you took off your shoes and crept in like a thief. After some effort of searching around, you found him crouching near the foot of his bed. He seemed too buried in his own thoughts to notice your intrusion. That just made it awkward, you thought. As you started to kneel down, Atsushi finally looked up at you.

"F/n-san!? What are you doing here?" In his face, you could see an entire mixture of shock, panic, and embarrassment.

"I heard..." You slowly sat down beside him.

"I'm sorry to let you see me like this. But really.. It's all my fault!"

"How?"

"If I wasn't so careless as to mess up, if only I wasn't over confident in my own abilities. If only..." He buried his face into his arms again. "I let everyone down. I always bring everyone misfortune and failure, why... To be honest, being kicked out of-"

"Stop!" You held on to his shoulder tightly and shook him in a light and gentle way, instead of like a harsh teacher. He was forced to look into your eyes and face your fiercely burning gaze. "You're nothing close to useless, Atsushi-kun. The detective agency couldn't have been the same without you, trust me. And...and...my life!"

"Your life, what?"

"My life couldn't have been the same without you!" You knew it was by far the most courageous moment of your life. To utter these words in front of him, took all the strength and confidence out of your body that you collapsed against the bedside next to him. Your words and emotions startled him, but he regained his posture soon enough.

"I'm sorry, for you to see me like this, I didn't know you-"

"Oh you don't know anything, Nakajima Atsushi! You don't know how you fuelled on my miseries and happiness day and night, you don't know how much you have been on my mind, you don't understand how much it pains me to see you like this!" You were shaking violently as these words flooded out of your mouth like a fierce flood destroying the river bank. You still leaned against the bedside, but your head remained tilted towards Atsushi to be constantly observing his reaction. He froze speechless.

"I like you, Atsushi, I like you so so so much, for god's sake! And I'm not sorry that I like you, without your consent, and I am not sorry that I said this!" With this, you started crying, bawling hard like a child with a stolen toy. In that moment, you felt like every bit of you were exposed to all the harms in the world and all your vulnerabilities left open for others to trod on. The coldness and helplessness of the position you were in frightened you so much. You curled up in a position of self protection like a terrorised cat. So that was it, you thought, I went down a path that had no return.

You cried until you were so tired of crying, that you just wanted to pass out of consciousness, though you probably have only been crying for less than a minute. Suddenly, Atsushi's arms closed around you, hesitantly and slowly at first, by then they became firm and supportive. You kept crying in his arm.

"Ah, f/n, what should I say." He sighed. "It was so embarrassing to hear a girl say what I should've said first. I'm sorry, actually, I'm not sorry that I like you either."

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Ha what should I say? This took forever to come out sorry to keep you waiting. Because I am working on my own original novel at the same time so I couldn't spend a lot of time on one shots. Anyways, yes again, feel free to request, and um pls try not to request characters I've already written. And yay thanks for ppl's support.