A Collection of Soukoku Oneshots

Pretty Boy

{!}
(Very, very minor TW for literally one mention of suicide related stuff.)
Third person POV, limited to Dazai.
At some fancy restaurant in Yokohama...

She should be here really soon.

Right?

The tall brunette waited outside the doors of the restaurant's lobby. Hopefully this time, his attempts to find a beautiful woman to commit a double suicide with wouldn't fail.

So, he waited.

And waited.

Realized people walking past thought he was waiting for a drug dealer.

And then waited some more.

Eventually, someone in a beautiful baby-blue sun dress paced towards him. Her soft, short strawberry blonde hair draped over her left shoulder, her blue eyes, sparkling in the moonlight.

But wait-

Dazai and the much shorter woman linked arms wordlessly and walked in the glass doors. The two made their way to the reception.

"Table for two, please." Dazai spoke up, smiling contently.

"Right this way, sir." The receptionist said, gesturing that the two follow him to their table.

The table was exceptionally big for just two people, one of which, for the record, was quite small. It was made of glossy, painted wood.

Dazai pulled out a chair for his date, hands gesturing for her to sit, as she did.

Dazai pulled out the chair across from her and took a seat for himself.

He made eye contact with the girl. What was her name again?

Charlotte..?

No.

Ah! It was Chuuya.

Although she was extremely beautiful, one thing was off, and, of course, Dazai knew what it was.

This wasn't a woman.

This particular human being who roams the earth, was male.

Dazai, still gazing into the "woman's" eyes, had a moment of hesitation, before Chuuya, the (wo)man of the hour, spoke up.

"So, uh, Dazai-san.." Chuuya seemed at a loss for words. Dazai's continuous stare switched to one that yelled, "I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T!"

Chuuya's expression seemed to change as well, to one of confusion.

You should tell him, the poor boy.

Maybe he's crossdressing as a dare from a friend?

That would be hilarious-

Dazai repressed a smirk at the scenario running in his head.

"I.. Should say something, shouldn't I?" Chuuya asked rhetorically, with awkwardness flooding his voice. Dazai smiled in return.

"I'm, uh," The smaller boy's cheeks went rosy, "not actually a girl." He admitted, flinching afterwards as if bracing for something bad.