robbers// the 1975

take off your mask

allie awoke reaching across the blankets and finding no one. it was still dark outside, but the bedding on the other side of the bed were as neatly tucked in as matty could've done. on top of the wrinkled sheets, there was a note written in his pointy handwriting.

if i held you any longer, i might not have been able to let you leave. you can't possibly know how heartbreakingly beautiful you looked, sleeping in my arms. i'm sorry i can't be what you need. i hope you find it one day.

I love you forever,
matty

allie blinked away tears until they blurred the letters matty had scrawled. finally, she let the tears flow down her cheeks. sobs racked her body.

she really had left him.

on stiff, shaky limbs she stepped out of bed, unsure of what to do. the clock read 03:34, blinking in red light made bleary through the moisture in her eyes. outside, a single car whizzed down the road, accompanied by the whooping screams of it's passengers and a flash of light through the motel window. allie watched it, feeling suddenly, desperately homesick. the boys had been her home; ross a confidant, george a brother, adam a friend, and matty a true love.

alone, in the cheap motel room with the creaky mattress and dirty mirrors, allie longed for the family she hadn't realized she had.

she'd wanted safety, hadn't she? and she would get it soon enough. logically, being with matty was the opposite of safe. but if leaving was the right thing to do, why did her heart feel so heavy?

"i don't know," allie whispered to the dingy wall. "i don't know."

after a night of pretending she was ready to start anew, allie let the mask fall, breaking down into loud tears and sinking to the floor. if she had known it would feel this way to leave... maybe she would've stayed after all.

with decisiveness she threw her belongings into the duffel bag and backpack she'd carried with her when she'd walked out of their imperfect home with the intention to never return. her mind could think of one thing and one thing only as she shoved a couple of greasy bills under a book on the nightstand, slammed the room door behind her, and drove into the pitch black night.

there were no cars along the road, just the ghosts of old memories of her hometown. there, the skatepark where she had watched matty's lanky figure bruise and batter itself a million times. there, the diner they had haunted with their friends into the late hours of the night. and there, the high school they'd barely attended. it looked smaller now, empty and lonely in the dark.

allie pulled up to their little home, looking broken but warm, bathed in yellow street light. she knocked on the door, and when it opened, she threw herself into a tattooed chest that still bore scars.

"i can't leave," she whispered. startled, matty's arms slowly fell to cradle her. he felt warm. he felt like love and bliss and hope that she might feel safe right here, where she belonged. with him.

"you're my home."