My hand flashed out instinctively, gripping Alex's wrist. "Let me go!" He cried, struggling for a moment. "Don't do this, Alex! Please, just let me explain- it isn't what you think!" I said back, beginning to pull him back. He looked down another moment and I saw the conflict in his eyes. After another long, heart-stopping minute, he swung his arm up and grabbed the ledge. I heaved his arm up higher and he gripped the bars, planting his feet on the cement side. I didn't release his hand as he finished climbing up. Once he was securely back on the same side of the railing, his feet flat on the ground, I wrapped my arms around him, tears pooling in my eyes as I held him tight. He slowly placed his arms around my sides, hesitant as ever. I pulled back a little to see his face.
"I don't know what I'd do without you. Please never try anything like that again," I pleaded, looking in his eyes. "Why not?" Alex asked, his eyes drifting back toward the railing for a moment. "Alex, I love you! I know what it looked like in there- that I was with Andy in a different way than you thought. I'd really just been hunched over to speak to him because he wouldn't get up and I needed to know he was listening. I was actually about to sit up when you opened the door," I explained, watching his expression carefully. Grief and fear flashed in his eyes, but the scariest emotion I read on his face was regret. I wasn't sure exactly what he was regretting- jumping, or me.
After a moment, Alex took a deep breath, placing a finger under my chin and lifting it. He bent down and kissed me, and then moved away, looking down sadly. "It just isn't the same now," he whispered, half to himself.
"Nothing is the same anymore. We have to accept that and deal with it the best that we can," I replied, moving back toward him. Alex shook his head at me, looking down for a minute.
"I'm sick of everything changing. I don't want to deal with it, I want it to stop," Alex explained, looking at me through pained blue eyes behind black bangs covering his eyes. Impatience boiled up inside me and I almost snapped at him. "Alex, I don't know what to tell you, except that we're all going through it, too. You aren't alone in this," I said, grabbing his hands, "We have to help each other. Everything is changing, faster than any of us can help- we just have do the best thing we can to cope with it." Alex shook his head and turned away miserably. "Listen, Alex- if you're not going to accept the help I offer then I'll just go back inside. I don't have to be with you- I want to, but if you won't accept me, I can try to accept that," I continued, my voice cracking slightly, "I don't want to, but I can try. So, basically, will you just listen to what I'm trying to tell you?" Alex whipped around, his blue eyes angry behind his bangs. "I've listened to you plenty- you never shut up. I tried to be your friend, I tried to be the best boyfriend I possibly could, but whatever. You aren't over Josh, you obviously have some kind of feelings for Andy, and yet you still claim to love me? No. I'm not going to fall for another girl that couldn't give a shit about me! You can go back to Andy- I don't care. You can go accept Josh now- I don't care. Hell, for all I care, you can go jump off! Because no matter what I do, you still barely notice, so I'm just going to pretend that I feel the same way- that I don't really care what you do. I'll be sad, and hurt, yes- I can't change that. You can come back to my house and get your horse and your clothes and your things, but after that stay the fuck out of my life," Alex finished, walking away. "No, Alex- come back!" I cried, chasing after him.
He took off running, and I chased him all the way to his car. Before he got in he finally turned around, facing me. "What, Ronnie, what?" Alex asked, bitterness ringing in his voice. "I have one thing to say to you at this point," I replied, knowing what I was going to say. He's not the only one here that can act. "What's that, whore?" He asked, smirking. "Thanks for the memories, bitch!" I replied, slapping him and walking away. He grabbed my arm, turning me around. "Don't you dare slap me and walk away," Alex growled menacingly. "You aren't the only one here that can act tough, Alex. Don't YOU dare talk to me like that and walk away from ME like you don't care," I snarled back before shaking myself out of his grip and walking back up to Andy's apartment. Just as I opened the door, I heard the car drive away. I stepped into the living room, where Andy, Tessa, and Lily were speaking. "Where's Alex?" Andy asked, looking up at me as I walked in alone. I shook my head and sat down on the couch. "He doesn't care about me, Andy- how should I know?" I responded, the same bitterness in my voice as Alex had in his just moments before. "What happened?" Andy asked, sympathy in his voice.
YOU ARE READING
Caught in the Moonlight
Teen Fiction*REWRITE AVAILABLE ON MY PROFILE* From the time Ronnie found the horse to the night it was finally back with her, her life is a constant whirlwind. Between the boys who come in and out of her life and the constant injuries and the vibrant cast of...
