Caught in the Moonlight

Chapter Three

    Misty reared, smacking painfully into the dark wooden corner of her stall. The snake, realizing it missed, became enraged. Moonlight was huddled in the corner of her stall and I felt Josh rush past into the supply room, telling me not to go in there as he sprinted by. Misty stamped at the rattler, causing it to become increasingly angry. 

"Misty, run!" I shrieked, willing the horse into the open pasture next to it. In the flash of a moment, Misty tripped, falling heavily on her side. The snake reared back one final time, before lunging. 

"No!!!!!" I screamed as it's teeth met her foreleg. An instant later a single shot fired, the bullet burying into the rattler's skull. "Misty!" I cried in angst, darting into the stall to fall on the quickly passing horse. "Misty..." I was sobbing now, as felt Josh's arms wrapped around me after he tossed out the snake by its rattle. 

"Shh, Ronnie, it'll be okay," he murmured soft consoling phrases, attempting to sooth me. 

"It'll never be okay and you know it," I whispered before my voice fully cracked. I realized I had my arms wrapped around Misty's neck and I was rocking. I heard Beth's whispered "No," of denial before she raced off. Moments later, Mimaw was with me as well, trying to sooth me while at the same time she was slowly tearing up. I sobbed harder at her tears, and completely lost it whenever I felt a warm, salty droplet drip off Josh's cheek as well. I curled myself around the corpse of my favorite horse, sobbing long after my eyes had dried. After a while, Mimaw straightened up, always tough, and walked out, most likely to find a good burial ground for horses. 

   Josh stayed with me the whole time, loyal as a golden retriever in his vigil with me. We were both completely silent, and if not for my sobbing and his strong, helpful breathing in my ear, we'd seem like statues. No usual human gestures, no foot twitches, no looking around- just constantly the same form, wrapped around a dead animal in strong, unmoving arms. It didn't give me a claustrophobic feeling, just a feeling like my soul had been ripped in two and this was the best way to heal it. 

I knew when Misty finally and fully moved on- there was a change in the air. I wasn't religious, but I fully believed she'd go to a better place. The air felt colder, emptier somehow; but when Josh finally moved away sitting up, and my sobs stopped, it hit me head-on that Misty was gone. I'd never ride her again, I'd never get to apply her chest-rub for her arthritis, never do anything with her again- except maybe her funeral. 

"Honey, we're going to have to leave her," Josh whispered quietly. 

"I'm not leaving her. She can't be dead, she just CAN'T!" I shouted out of anger and rage and pain and denial. 

"Ronnie-Ann Peterson. I love you with all my heart, and I loved this horse too. But it kills me to see you in this much pain. Come on, please- at the very least come for a walk with me," Josh begged, a pleading, loving look in his eyes. 

I sighed, giving in, "Josh, you know more than anyone how much this horse meant to me. You know more than anyone. So, yes, I will come for a walk with you- not a long one, but a walk." Josh almost smiled for a second- the corner of his lip twitched up for an instant and he stood, holding out his hand. For the first time in three years, I let him pull me up. Once I was standing, I almost fell down again; he had to sweep out an arm, wrapping it securely around my waist. I looked up into his soft, blue, doe eyes, and, like a girl in some happier place, some faery story, I murmured, "Carry me." 

  Josh smiled down at me, placing his other arm under my knees and hoisting me up, lifting me off the ground.  I, swept off my feet, let him kiss my forehead and begin taking me off to wherever he planned to go. He exited the barn through the back, walking like a determined soldier marching through battle, and then climbing over the fence without dropping me. I marvelled at his strength; this was a good distraction from what happened that morning. It was dusk, and the sun had almost completely sunk, casting an eerie blue light over everything. The rising moon was bright and the evening star shone. Polaris rested to our right, hovering just above the tree tops, a beacon of hope that somewhere out in that dark, milky expanse, Misty ran free and youthful with loved ones once again.