Royal

The Guilt of Greed

As soon as we exit the dungeon Brendon grabs a hold of my arm and pulls me through the halls into more secluded parts of the castle. I don't question it as Brendon usually has to talk to me without nosy servants listening in.

We stop in a shadowed corner of the castle far away from everyone else. Brendon lets go and paces a little in front of me. I lean against one of the walls and wait to hear what he had to say.

"Do you realize how big of a problem it would be if your relations with Peter were ever to be known? What the citizens would do to you if they found out you lay with men?" My eyebrows crinkle in confusion at Brendons words, his words are angry and his accent becomes thicker when he gets mad.

"And why on Earth should you have any room to question my relations? I've heard about your messings with some of the male staff in here. Just this past month you had me transfer one of my best guards Dallon because you couldn't keep it in your pants." I huff angrily and it seems I have just added fuel to Brendon's fire.

"My problems are not the issue at hand. I do not run a city! I am not the king! The one people look up too and worship who is expected to marry a woman and create heirs to the throne. Your citizens could dethrone you if they found out these things."

" So what! Perhaps being king is not worth it if I cannot be with the man that I want. I do not want to be with any woman, you would know that if you ever took the chance to ask me whom I preferred before throwing all the eligible princesses from across the entire continent at me!"

" You never once spoke to me about your preferences to the male gender." Brendon stops pacing and runs his hands in his hair. " Do you realize how different things could have been if you would have told me?" He asks softly his brown eyes filled with emotion as he looks at me. "How many times have I shown my affection towards you. Complemented you when you felt bad, helped you up when you were down, healed your wounds when your father got too rough. I was always there right by your side since we were boys playing with sticks as our swords. I admired you from the very first day we meet, I cried when you were crowned king, I thought when you asked me to be at your side through all of this you meant more than your right hand man. But from the day Peter walked through the castle gates I knew your eyes were always on him and that I would never be more than I am to you now. Your right hand man, your friend."

I feel my jaw drop at Brendons revelation and before I can even respond he leaves. His long legs carrying him swiftly down the hallway before I can even ponder catching up.

I stand there for a long time debating what to do. Ever so slowly I slide down the wall to the floor running my hands through my hair and just thinking for a minute.

How could I have missed all this? I always figured the flirtatious gestures were just a sign that Brendon trusted me enough to be himself. I never would have thought it was anything more than friendship, we are best friends how could he have kept this in this long?

I take a deep breath and hold my hands over my eyes and just block out the world for a minute. Why did my life have to get so complex in such a short amount of time?

I sigh and stand up and make my way back to my bedroom. Back to Peter where I feel like I belong. I don't run into anyone on my way there but as soon as I open the door I can tell something is off.

I see Peter on the bed just twiddling his thumbs looking extremely bored. "You know I have plenty of books in here you could read while I am away?" Peter shrugs his hands dropping to his sides.

"I can't read." He says followed by a sigh. I feel a pang of guilt hit me knowing that he cannot read because my father believed uneducated slaves would be more obedient. I shudder at the thought writing in my mental to do list to offer education more openly in the castle.

"Will you sit and chat with me? I have not a single thing to do here in this fancay bedroom but await for you to return. I feel like some house wife but without all the chores and hobbies." Peter jokes but it makes me feel worse knowing that he is only in this situation because of me.

I walk over and flop on the bed with a loud sigh and rub my eyes. I have no clue what to do anymore. Peter shifts so he is right next to me and rubs my shoulder laying down on the bed next to me. My eyes lock onto his whiskey brown ones, I study his face taking in the tiny details from the light freckling across his nose from the sun to the crinkles around his eyes from smiling.

I wrap an arm around him and slide closer resting my cheek on his shoulder absorbing his warmth trying to feel how right this is. I feel like butterflies are trapped within my abdomen when Peter brushes a peice of my hair behind my ear.

I close my eyes and try to ground myself once again. Brendons confession has shook the foundations of our friendship of my entire life at the moment. So many things I trust with Brendon there is so much between us that now that he has confessed his feelings I no longer know what to do.

Yet when I look at Peter he is the one I always lusted after the one who made me realize my attractions to men. The only man I have ever really wanted to be with. But now I don't know anymore.

And that is what scares me the most.