I'm With You 'Til the End of the Line- Stucky Oneshots (Marvel)

Broken

!!Warning!!
This oneshot will include self-harm, if you are uncomfortable with this please do not read!
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Steve walked through the door of the flat and dropped his keys on the table beside the door. 'Bucky, babe, I'm home, training finished early when Tony broke his arm!' Steve walked through to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. He unscrewed the cap and downed half the bottle in one go, it had been a harder day of training than usual.

Steve continued through to the bedroom and stripped off his current clothing and swapped it for a pair of grey joggers and a navy blue tight T-shirt. He was puzzled as to where Bucky had disappeared off to. 'Buck, are you home?' He shouted through the small flat, 'I'm ordering pizza if you want some.' Steve waited a minute before realising he wasn't going to get a reply. He was getting worried now.

He looked through the mess on the coffee table in the living room, knowing that if Bucky had gone out, he would have left a note somewhere. It was then that he heard a soft sob come from behind the closed bathroom door. 'Bucky, is that you? Can I come in?' He gently knocked on the bathroom door and waited for a response.

'I'm fine Steve, just, go away, please.' Bucky's voice was so weak that Steve could barely hear him.

'What's up babe?'

'I-it's nothing Stevie. Please, just, just go,' Bucky whimpered through the door.

'I'm not going anywhere, there's clearly something wrong. I'm not going to walk away when you need help. Is it flashbacks?'

'No, it's, it's not flashbacks Steve. Just go.'

'Step away from the door Bucky. If you're not going to open it, I'll open it myself.' Steve heard a small shuffling noise before the bathroom door slowly unlocked. He stepped forward and grabbed the handle, slowly pushing the door open.

Steve's breath caught in his throat and a small squeak escaped from between his lips. 'Bucky. Bucky, what have you done?' Steve's voice was soft and gentle, as if he was speaking to a wounded animal.

He slowly stepped forward, avoiding the bloodied blade that was lying on the white, tiled floor. He gently took Bucky's right hand in his and turned it so his wrist was facing up, the fresh cuts dripping blood onto the floor. 'Why?' It was the only thing that he could get to come out of his mouth, the shock was too much. He couldn't understand why Bucky would do this.

Bucky turned his chiselled face away from Steve's questioning gaze, he was ashamed. 'I can't. I just. I'm sorry.' Bucky broke down, tears escaping from his blue-grey eyes. Steve wrapped his strong arms around Bucky's smaller frame, holding him close as he sobbed.

'Calm down Bucky. It's okay. Don't be sorry, I'm just confused as to why you did this.' Steve rested his chin on top of Bucky's head and gently rocked him, the way you would a child. After a few minutes Bucky calmed down and his breathing returned to normal. He pulled away from Steve and looked up into his questioning, yet not accusing, blue eyes.

'I just, I'm not good enough. I'm ruining your life Steve. Your friends don't trust me and that stops you from going out and having a life. I'm holding you back. I'm broken, I'm dangerous, I'm worthless.' Bucky looked down and fixed his gaze on his slashed arm. 'It made me feel better, like I was doing something right for once.'

'Don't tell yourself that Bucky! You are my life, I love you! I would rather have just you than have all of them, you are part of me Bucky, we are two halves Bucky. I couldn't live without you. I've almost lost you twice already, I don't want that to happen again!' This time it was Steve's turn to cry, tears began to leak from his eyes and travel down his cheeks. 'You aren't dangerous Bucky, you're damaged, yes, but broken things can be fixed. None of us are perfect! You are the most pure, brave and beautiful human I have ever met, and I love you.'

'Some things get broken beyond repair Stevie, I think I'm one of those.' Bucky's gaze was still fixed on his arm, the bleeding had almost stopped. He slowly brought his gaze back up to meet Steve's.

'With the right tools, anything can be fixed, and even made better. I can help you Bucky, you just need to let me! Please.' Steve moved his hand to cradle Bucky's cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the tears. He took Bucky's metal hand in his and pulled him up off the edge of the bath. 'Come on, how about that pizza?'

Bucky smiled a sweet and genuine smile, the tears having stopped falling. Steve gently leaned down and pressed a soft, but love filled kiss to Bucky's chapped lips. 'Meat feast for you then babe?'

'You know me so well Stevie!' Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve's jaw before going through to the bedroom to change out of his bloodied T-shirt.

Not as well as I would like to, Steve thought to himself, but I will.