// LOVING SOMEONE //

chapter 6

pov: Amelia

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Waking up the next morning, I had almost forgotten about the events of last night. I was confused, then I was really happy, then suddenly I felt a wave of confusion fall over me. Does this mean I've fallen for a woman? What does it mean? And she has a kid! How could I be so inconsiderate of her and her life as a mother and I doubt she's even been with anyone seriously since Callie.

What if she doesn't see herself with me in the long run the way she must have with Callie? The feelings of being a fuck-up start swirling through my mind and I just don't know if I'm ready to ruin yet another person I really care for or another relationship that I think could work and then it doesn't. I stop to think for a few moments, noticing that the blonde laying next to me is still sound asleep. I get lost in thought for a minute remembering the most amazing time we shared and I started to wonder what she was dreaming about.

Could she be dreaming of me? I push the thought out of my mind and begin to climb out of bed when she starts to stir. I'm careful not to wake her, it's her day off, so I let her sleep in. I gather my clothes from the floor and grab underwear, a set of new clothes and my towel to take a quick shower and get ready for the day.

Afterward, I descend down the stairs to the kitchen to gather my top that I'd left on the floor the previous night and hurry over to my purse and take my keys off the table, only slightly rushing to get to my car and start work early today, only to be stopped in my tracks by Andrew coming up the walkway. I froze for a moment, then remembered he knew that I had been staying with Arizona all this time, so why did I feel like I was sneaking out after a one night stand at the crack of dawn? It was 6:45 a.m. and somehow, it felt like I never even went to sleep.

Andrew must have seen the look on my face because as he walked past me and toward the porch, I heard him say, "Well... was it good?", he laughed and his words made me blush like an idiot, I couldn't help but stutter my answer, "Uh, y-ya know yeah sure, just um, tell Arizona that I'll uh t-talk to her later," I let out a nervous chuckle then turned quickly on my heel and scurried off to my car in the driveway.

Jesus fucking Christ, he knows, I thought to myself. As I sat and got situated in the driver's seat, I suddenly lost myself in a flashback from the previous night. Holy shit, it was the best. I took a moment to think about how I have definitely had great sex but that was with men and none of it came close to what I was feeling last night.

Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks... Owen.
It's crazy that I haven't really thought about him since that first night I nearly drank myself to a point of no return. I assumed he picked up night shifts because I hadn't seen him in a few weeks, and when I did see him it was only briefly when I passed through the ER or walked by him in the hallways. My mind had been so preoccupied with my sobriety and then with Arizona. I feel bad for a moment and then remember that he was the one who pushed me away. "Amelia, I'm not like you. I don't need to talk everything to death. Listen to what I'm saying, I do not want your help. Not with this." The memory of him being so harsh sent a chill down my spine. No, I don't need to feel bad for moving on. But, also... maybe I can try talking to him and continue to make my amends.

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I get to the hospital and walk through the ER from the parking lot to head upstairs and change into scrubs for the day. I didn't see Owen, maybe he went home already. After changing, I find Edwards and find that she's already rounded all my patients which is great but also not great because now I have to occupy myself in the meantime.

As I'm about to just head back to the attendings lounge and go over patient files and wait for a trauma or something, I get a page to the ER, I jog down the stairs, and arrive to the ER looking to find out why Owen paged me, hoping that it's a big case, only to end up getting pulled into a dark trauma room not even having time to realize who it was pulling me in. After my confusion wore off, I knew who it was standing before me, even within the shadows of the empty and now unavailable trauma room that was supposed to be sealed off for electrical repairs. I almost forgot what it was like to stand before him, he towered over me and his scent was overpowering and intoxicating.