The Cockney Diaries

Anne's Really Gone?

Morning came. Jesse and I had made our long awaited journey towards France to save Anne. I had thought about Anne everyday. Her hair, laugh, smile, her sarcastic humor even though it couldn't compare to mine in such a way. I couldn't get over the fact that it was my fault. I'm her older sister, I'm the one who was supposed to watch her. I could've prevented all of this. It was my fault, my fault, all my fault!
"Jess?"
"Yeah Catherine?"
"It should've been me."
"You what...?"
"Anne is my responsibility, she's my sister, I should've not let her out of my sight; I should've held on tight to her and let her go."
"Catherine it's not your fault, she didn't know to handle the news when your mum got sick, anything could have happened, it's just your...
"I should've been there, it should've been me, I'm the terrible sister, the terrible daughter, the lousy friend, I don't what to do anymore.
"Catherine, please calm..
"Don't tell me to calm down!"
"I'm sorry."
"You should be, how can I be calm in he time like this. My sister is missing, were at war, people are being killed, were the oppressed "underprivileged" who can't escape from our miseries. My life is falling apart and all you can tell me is to calm down!? Your a sick person, and I wish that I never met you!"
Hot tears rolled down my red, burning cheeks as I stormed in the other direction, furious that he could ever suggest something like that.
"Catherine!"
"Catherine!"
I stopped near a grassy hill filled with daffodils and a murky lily pond, watching my blurred reflection disappear before my eyes. I was no longer Catherine, at that point, I didn't even know who I was.