∆ Thoughts of Sept. 2015.
Why is it whenever we're at our happiest something has to happen that dampers our mood almost completely? I've asked myself that question hundreds of times,selfishly thinking the world or God was out to get me for no reason at all. Now I understand (sort of) that things just happen and sometimes it's for the best.
At this point in my short life,it's hard for me to see the good in situation I was brought into days ago. Strangely, I can see myself saying this a lot later on just not word for word.
I've gathered enough information on the situation to write it out and make a decision. I'll write out what I've got so far.
I've been dating this guy online for around seven months,and I love him. He never tried to catfish me or anything,he's actually the sweetest guy I've ever met. Things were working out even with the distance.
I'm not saying there weren't problems,there were at times, but usually it was smooth sailing until now. A few days ago he got really serious and told me we need to talk. He started talking about how he loved me and he would never hurt me on purpose,but in my mind I was fearing anything.
It's over.
There's someone else.
You weren't enough.
I cheated on you.
This isn't working anymore.
To my complete and utter misery,he started talking about his ex and how he cheated on me. Apparently he'd done it when I'd fallen asleep on him after a long day of exams. Supposedly she needed him.
He told me the worst things in an argument, he brought up stupid things that didn't matter. He threw my guy friends in my face,claiming I'd cheat on him with them. It was incredibly stupid and I needed a break.
I trusted him,he told me he wouldn't hurt me and I believed it. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world,and he felt like the worst person. But I didn't hate him.
He didn't sleep with her.
They didn't hook up.
They didn't even make out or anything.
He laid there with her,comforting her and telling her anything she'd want to know. But all I ever got was 'hugs?:('. That hurt. No matter what she'll always be closer to him than I'll ever be.
For now, I've decided to stay with him. I'm either an idiot or way too hopeful. Maybe things will be better.
Please let them be.
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DT 1.
