How To Save A Life

How to Save a Life (3)

Oliver

I didn't mean to wake her up.

Actually, I didn't mean to wake myself up either. But it happened. I woke myself up by terrifying myself into sitting up with a start, gasping for breath, and I woke up Emily by practically throwing her off of me.

Apparently, she'd fallen asleep using me as a pillow, and my outburst sent her flying onto her side.

She sat up, eyes wide and cloudy with sleep. I was still panting, and couldn't do anything but stare back at her. I probably looked insane, but I couldn't stop.

"Are you..." Emily trailed off. Of course I wasn't alright. She hesitated for a moment before reaching out and gripping my hand, keeping her eyes on mine. "What's wrong?" she asked instead.

Addie shifted with a moan of tiredness. I shuffled my way out of the shelter, wanting to do nothing more than run until I died. Emily's hand was small, protected in mine, but I let it go, pulling myself out of the shelter and sprinting away. I pulled my shirt off as I went, dropping it to the sand and running faster, almost planning on throwing myself into the ocean and sinking to the bottom if it would get the images out of my head.

"Oliver!"

I registered her call and ignored it. Kasey's eyes flashed in my head, blue and watery and terrified. I ran faster. Max's laugh echoed in my mind. I sprinted.

Kailey giggling, her hair tickling my arm.

My foot hit a rock and I went down hard, tumbling over myself down a sandy dune, letting out a small gasp. When I hit the bottom, I groaned in pain when I landed hard on a rock.
Cassie, wrapping her legs around my waist and laughing into my neck.

I closed my eyes and pressed my face into my hands as the tears came. I was going to die. I was going to die here and there was no one to stop that from happening. Emily and Addie would die here with me. I wouldn't ever see my family again. I wouldn't see my boys again. I'd die here away from everybody that I loved, all alone.

A pair of hands rested on my shoulders. I ignored them, ignored the warmth of her hands against my bare skin, and pressed my face to my knees, doubled over as the pain grew. It was agonizing, tearing me apart from the inside out, a silver dagger twisting with every breath.

Emily leant in front of me, her knees touching mine as she ran her hands softly along my shoulders, a small reassurance that I wasn't alone. I kept my eyes closed, hating the way Kasey's eyes looked so scared in my mind.

"Oliver," Emily said, her voice soft and uncertain. "Were you alone?"

My stomach twisted at the thought and I quickly nodded, driving the images of my siblings screaming as the plane went down out of my mind. Her hands softened on my shoulders and she shifted to sit down, legs tucked under her, pulling me softly towards her. She wrapped her arms softly around my chest, letting me lean my back against her, resting her head against the back of my neck like we'd known each other for years.

She didn't ask what was wrong. She didn't pry to see what had happened to make me snap. She just sat there quietly, letting me know she was there, but never too close, never too insistent. I kept my eyes closed, and after a long time, my heart rate slowed down to a pace where I could breathe again. She didn't ask once for words, but I gave them anyways.

"I'm the oldest," I said, my voice trembling residually. "I've got six younger siblings, and even though Farrah is technically older than me, I take care of her. I've always taken care of her, and all of the others."

My hands trembled, and I entwined my fingers, squeezing tightly. "Who's going to take care of them now?" I asked, not to Emily, more of my fear coming out into a question. "Who's supposed to make sure they're okay if I'm not there?"