Immunity

13

One thing that inevitably comes to mind when you think of the apocalypse is death.

I always wondered how it felt to die. Not the process that leads to you dying, but how it feels to take your final breath, to think your final thought and to feel your heart give one final thud. 

Of course, the natural thing is to hope that it's painless and easy- relieving. That's what death is supposed to be, the relief from life.

Standing on the roof top, with my arms bleeding, my hair on my face, my eyes squeezed tightly shut, and a gun being pressed into my temple, I was surprised by how frightened but also relieved I was. The relief was there because I knew the end was close. I wouldn't hurt anymore once I was dead. I would be with all my family. Jax and Ace wouldn't be dead. I wouldn't even remember them anymore.

The fear however was in the depth of my insides, twisting and bending all my bones and melting my organs. Was this the death? Was this the feeling of my soul being torn from my body and being taken to the other side?

An inhuman sound reached my ears. It sounded like grief, pure grief. A choke. Rapid, gasping sobs that wracked his body, and made my own throat grow a lump. I heard him sniffle and let out a seemingly tiny scream, like his lungs weren't strong enough to make the noise, and then the gun slipped away from my head. And I knew that this wasn't death, or if it was, then this was hell.

"How could you do this?" He says in a way that is barely able to be made out. He sank to his knees again, doubled over and shaking. I felt his words surge through my body, and roll around in my head. They made my lungs feel like lead and my stomach feel like a bursting balloon. Then suddenly, I feel nothing again. It's just my thoughts in my head, and they begin to kill me.

My body gives out, and I collapse beside him, my face landing on the gravel. How could I have done this? I took away some of his family. The only thing keeping him- the whole group- sane.

"I didn't. I didn't. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to kill him I didn't mean to. I didn't." I dribble out frantically, my mouth trying to work out the words in rapid fire. It was a mess. Everything was a mess. 

Hugo starts to cry again, loud and wailing.  I know that he is beyond any words or way of comfort. This is the kind of grief that causes wars, and murders.

There was the sound of rapid approaching footsteps pounding up the flight of stairs, and the fire escape door was flung open.

Ria had wide eyes, taking in the scene immediately. She saw Hugo, distraught out of looking human, the lack of Jax, and my bleeding arms. She didn't ask questions. She just charged across the rooftop, screaming, and tackled me. She sat on top of me, pinning my arms to the group, and she punched me in the mouth and in my eyes. I blinked after the force, feeling my face burn and scream. Dazed, I tried to reach for my mouth to try and get my tooth that had been knocked out and was stuck behind my tongue. As blood and saliva oozed over my split and swollen lips, Ria put her toe of her boot on my fingers, and twisted.

With a face like stone, her mouth a hard thin line and her eyes dark like voids, she took out her gun and cocked it in front of my face, the barrel pointed between my eyes. Her lips formed a snarl, and her finger moved to press the trigger.

Hugo pushed her in the side, and off of me. Ria fell, but sat upright again, the anger swelling in her eyes.

"Let her change." He cried out. "Let her change, and let her fucking rot."

With the last bit of my soul, I screamed. "I'm immune! I'm immune!"

"You're fucking lying." She growled, punching me in the side of the face again, over and over.

I tried to breathe, and tried to cover my face from Ria's fist. In between my whimpers and times where black spots appeared in my eyes, I tried my hardest to speak, to beg. "L-listen. Listen! Please!"

I don't know what it was that finally made Ria stop. I couldn't see, and my ears were ringing. Maybe I just couldn't feel her hitting anymore.

"They're old," I splutter. "The bites are old. Days old."

"When? When did you get bitten?" Hugo demands.

"The day before I found you."

I swallow nervously, my eyes flickering between Hugo and Ria's faces. Leo, Aggie and Izzy are poking their heads through the fire escape door, their eyes wide, and watching the scene play out in front of them with fear.

Hugo glances at Ria, as if he's asking her a non-verbal question. Before they can say anything, or decide on anything, I speak again.

"Believe me, I thought I was going to change. I locked myself in a house and waited a whole day, I swear, but nothing happened. No purple marks, no fever. You can check me for yourself if you like. I'm not lying to you, please." I cry as I say the words, both out of desperation and fear, and also at the memory of the horror of it all happening.

Hugo's fists curl up and unfurl at his sides in anger. "So what? You think you're just magically immune to F119? How do we know that those aren't from today?"

I try to reach for a scrap of the bandages that are scattered around me, but it sends pain coursing through my arm. "The bandages." I whimper. "I got the bandages from the house I locked myself in."

"I gave you bandages when we were looking for supplies." Hugo said, his words pronounced, like they were the nails in my coffin.

"The blood on them is dry." I say. "If I got the bites today the blood wouldn't be dry by now."

"That doesn't answer his other question." Ria spits out, her eyes narrowed like she's ready to shoot me at any second. A part of me wanted her to.

I swallow again, trying to clear the mucus from the back of my throat. My eyes fall to my lap. "I think it's my blood." I mumble. "The infected's that bit me all died, they foamed from the mouth. Something in my blood is toxic to them." I glanced at them both then as I spoke again. "I think I could be a cure."

I thought of my father and sister, the possibility of them having the same blood as me. What if they were  alive, and also immune?

There was a pause, the air was tense and heavy on my shoulders. I thought that they were considering what I was saying, but that feeling died when Ria rolled her eyes. "What a crock of shit!" She screamed at me, whipping the gun out again, aiming for my head. This time I didn't even flinch, let alone close my eyes. At that point, I think I was ready to die.

"Ria!" Hugo warned her.

There was a moment of silence as thoughts inside heads rolled around, trying to think and put thoughts together. It was all too hard. Infected could be near by, I could be a liar, and a boy was definitely dead on the concrete at the bottom of the building. My chest felt like it would cave in.

Hugo's voice startled me. "Do you know the danger you out us in?" He asked, his voice steady and even. Deadly serious.

"Yes." I admitted. The tiny word was hard to say, like I was stabbing myself just by speaking.

"Because of you, Jax and Ace aren't here anymore." He said.

There was the second stab, deep into my chest.

"Kill her." Ria hissed.

Hugo just shook his head for what seemed like the longest second in eternity. I was standing in front of the executioner.

"Get out." He said. "Get away from us, and don't ever come back. If I see you, I will shoot you. Do you understand? Because I am not fucking around."

"What?" I asked, trying to process what he was saying. He wasn't going to kill me? Why? I deserved it. I was a murderer. I couldn't understand. It was like I already had a bullet in my brain that wasn't letting it work.

"I said get out!" He screamed, bringing a whole new wave of sobs into his throat. "Get the fuck out!"

As fast as I could move, I stood and swayed at the rush of blood around my body and at the pain that reached a dizzying level. Then I stumbled back to the fire escape door, the younger kids scurrying away from me as I passed. 

I practically fell down all the flights of stairs, gripping the rail as I wobbled down steps and half collapsed. I reached the ground level, and pushed open the door, bursting out of the building and into the gloomy light.

And I ran as fast as I could go.