feelings fade • c.h.w.

X

Honestly, I'm being a fucking coward right now. I hate this.

I'm gonna meet up with her. I need to- no. I have to.

I have to let her know everything. I have to let everything out.

~

As soon as I got to our meeting place, I saw her.

She was looking down while playing with her fingers. She must be nervous.

"Hey." I said and sat down with her. She looked at me, wide-eyed.

Ah, I must've startled her.

She's so cute.

"Hyungwon-ah, I'm sorry." She said in a soft voice. I can feel that she's about to cry soon.

And I was right. She broke down.

At this moment, all the hate I had for her was gone. All I could think of was how to comfort her.

"It's okay." I hugged her and she buried her face on my chest. I wanna stay like this forever.

Damn, I still love her.

Then, I realized why I was here.

I pulled out of the hug and looked straight into her eyes.

"Look, I'm tired of secrets, lies, excuses, and holding back." I said.

She used to keep secrets from me and told me lies and excuses because of her cheating ways. Maybe that's why I lost my trust her so fast. It's also unfair to me because if I haven't even lied, why do I have to put up with hers?

"I know what I did was unforgivable. And I'm sorry everything I've done. I realized he was a jerk so I broke up with him and I.... I realized that I still love you." She said in between sobs.

"Y/N, can I tell you something?" I wiped the tears off her cheeks

"Hm."

"When we were together, I really loved you. I really did. I cared about you so much I even forgot about myself. I did everything I could to be the best boyfriend you'll ever had. But I couldn't. You still didn't felt the same."  Okay, now I think I'm gonna cry.

"I'm really sorry." That's all she could say.

I guess she really do regret it. I mean, she's crying so hard right now. It's getting painful for me to watch.

"Please continue. I wanna know how you felt and how much pain I've given you." She pleaded.

"Are you sure? I might hurt you, you know."

"That's nothing compared to how much I've tried to hurt you." She cupped my face and smiled sadly.

I'm hurting much more right now than before.

"The truth is I act like I don't care, but I wish you did. In front of my friends and even infront of you, I acted like I didn't care anymore. However, deep down I always realize how much I miss you. But I guess you didn't felt the same way. I knew to myself that I needed to confront reality and move on. I tried to, but everything reminds me of you." After hearing all of those, she cried even more. I had no choice but to hug her.

Just by having her in my embrace, everything feels so right.

But I have to do this.

"You used to make me smile, now you make me sick. Honestly, I wish I didn't waste my time. Although you make me feel so much better you still give me pain. When I look back at what happened, I wish I never knew you or was in a relationship with you. You caused me more pain than I have ever experienced." I pulled out of the hug again and continued and she sure was shocked.

"Hyungwon, I.." She couldn't say anything. Guess I was too harsh.

"Can we start over again?" She looked into my eyes. "Please."

"I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired of all this bullshit. But I still love you so much and I hate it." I clenched my fist.

I really did hate it.

The fact that I can never reject her.

"Promise me you'll never do it again... I'm giving you a second chance." I hugged her and buried my face on her neck.

"Yes. I promise I won't. This time, I'll be the one trying to be the best girlfriend you'll ever had." She hugged me back and chuckled slightly as her tears escaped her eyes.

i hope our feelings don't fade
i know we know we need space
i'm sorry, i know it's late
but i've got something to say
it's gonna be okay tonight
cause tomorrow's just a dream away

END

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oh hey crappy ending soz
just so you know i wrote this in like 2 hours lmao idek I DIDNT EDIT THIS SO SORRY FOR THE TYPOS AND MISTAKES AND WRONG GRAMMARS anyways thank you for reading ♡