You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like That

Brand New World

We kept talking like that for the next week, talking about when I could visit the ranch, when we'd get to see each other, stuff like that. It's amazing how good if felt to be wanted. It had been along time since I'd had a real relationship with anyone. I was always smiling, and never really had a mean thing to say to anyone anymore. It wasn't a secret either; everyone noticed my change of pace. I even had new friends because of it. I was a bubblier, nicer version of my typically cynical-self. It amazed me how much difference one person made. 

That Tuesday night when we talked, neither of us wanted to hang up, we weren't really tired, but my dad was getting on to me about going to bed. We kept texting though, and I'm glad we did. I asked Cutter what he wanted to do after he graduated. I knew he always talked about moving out to West Texas (or Montana if he could) and living in a bunk house as a ranch hand, but, when he answered, the answer was different this time. He went over everything about the bunk house, and added, "Since we're together, we can move out there together and get our own place. Maybe we can get a ranch out there..." As I read, I could just see it all. We'd have our own pretty little ranch, a couple horses, cats and dogs running around. I could work from home so that I could take care of our two kids (one boy and one girl). We'd be so happy, kind of like my aunt and his dad...I didn't let him know how deeply I'd thought it through though, so I just told him that sounded nice, and it did...really nice...He agrees and I just smiled back. He responds by confessing, "Baby, I love you so much. I've never felt like this about anyone else. You make me so happy..." At the time, I couldn't believe he really said that. I actually started to cry a little bit...I told him that nobody'd ever made me so happy, and that I love him too. more than anything.

I fell asleep after that...the whole thing still felt like a dream to me and I wanted to make sure that it continued. We said our "goodnights" and exchanged pleasantries, and, as soon as I put my phone down, I was out. 

I never even knew I could be this happy! The last couple months of school went by in a crazy blur of butterflies and rainbows. I didn't have anymore problems with anything it seemed like everything was going my way. My world rotated around those phone calls and text messages, but I actually liked it that way. 

The world got even brighter when the plans were set to spend the first week of the summer out on the ranch with my best friend, Caitlin. Things always seem to get better around the summertime, but I'd truly never been this happy, never seen the world shine this much. It's like I was seeing everything from a different point of view, living in a brand new world.