Don't Cage the Foxe

Chapter 5

My hands were bleeding. It was just a little--at the knuckles, where the chemicals burned and the rubber gloves chafed against my skin.

Fritz was gone.

It wasn't anything new that the things I held dear seemed to be disappearing. The list was short, granted, but it was leaving me. Dad, Mrs. Avalos, Fritz.

I had stared at my hands, picking at the cuticles and at the red that had seeped into the skin, like a rash.

I had to find Jax. That was it. Jax was my way out.
So I slipped on running shoes, tying my hair up into a tight ponytail that felt taut against my head, and went running. Running was the weirdest sensation to describe: part torture, part satisfaction and relief. Relief in the sense that I felt the wind and the sun, felt the ground moving beneath my feet, steadily.

And with Jax, it seemed almost euphoric. Like a baby bird stretching out its wings on the waves of wind for the first time, feeling it against his feathers and lifting him up, up and away. The ground would be a blur, lungs would be breathless and yet--it would be the happiest thing in the world.
The little bird was free.   

I found Jax in his usual spot in his stall, laying on hay. The other horses tossed their heads when they saw me and recognized me, but Jax--Jax neighed and kicked and bucked his head excitedly.
But he didn't want me--he wanted the Winter Apples in my pocket I had picked up from the front, and I gave it to him, feeling his teeth nibbling at my hand as he did so.

"Hey, kid," I whispered, stroking his nose. He was a tall horse, but he seemed to bend down a little to catch the hand. "I want to be a bird someday."

His ears pricked forward, as if saying "You're crazy."

"I know," I agreed with a sigh.

Soon, I had him bridled and ready to go, pulling his reins until we reached the trails leading around the barn and stretching twelve miles out. It was mostly forest, the path well-traveled and although it could be easily seen, animals still ventured out. Rabbits, coyotes, foxes, birds. I loved catching even a small glimpse of them on my trail rides.

I pulled Jax into a slow trot, at first, and when I realized that I could feel the wind again, I pushed into a gallop and we went hurtling down the trail and I laughed--laughed loud, and clear, deep from my stomach like a little bubble of happiness--for the first time since I could remember.

    It didn't last long.

When we reached the front of the barn, the sun beginning to wane behind me, the world seeming to catch up to my fantasy, a figure was waiting at the entrance. A tall form, wearing a black shirt and ripped jeans, his hair crazy and wavy as usual.

Wesley started when he saw us, eyeing Jax as if he would attack right then and there.

Not yet, Jax, not yet.

"What do you want?" I asked. My mirth was gone, replaced by something akin to irritation. How did he find me here--and why? He could have just called on my cellphone, asking my mother for my number. She could have been home by now. It was late, and the cold was beginning to seep into my bones right in the moment that I'd seen Wes.

"That is a giant horse," said Wesley instead. "Are you sure that thing isn't packed with steroids? Or some weird growth defect?"

Jax bucked his head, wanting to rest inside his barn, and I patted his side.

"Wesley," I said. I realized that was the first time I'd said his name. "Did my mom call you or something?"

"What?" Wesley frowned, running his hand from his curls. They'd grown wilder, it seemed, and needed to be pushed back more often. "I uh, I tracked down her office number and asked her where you would be. She said you missed an appointment or something but--"