Harry Potter: One Shots and Headcanons

Dear Lily

Maybe it was fate and destiny, maybe it was our past and it's influences or maybe it was him. It had always been there, that soul bond that the two of you shared. It was hidden in plain sight, the fighting and arguing hid it well but he had seen it, as clearly as you would eventually too.

But I loved you too.

You were my first everything. Without you I wouldn't have known what friendship was, I wouldn't have known what it was to be protected and cared for and I wouldn't have know what it was to feel my heart surge with love and happiness merely because I was in your presence.

I'd like to think that for a fleeting moment you had thought of me in more than a platonic way.

But you never did.

I'd like to think that I'd given you as much as you did in our friendship.

But I never did.

You were too pure for my world. You were strong and fierce but in a snake pit you had to be cunning and ambitious. I was surrounded by my people and you were by your people. The more you tried to save me, the more I gave in to the Dark Arts.

You deserved more.

I knew it and it made me resentful- it made me more hateful. You had become the streams of sunlight that the heavy, dark drapes of my soul couldn't rid itself of. And I loved you dearly for it but at the time I didn't want to.

So I called you that horrid name. It wasn't planned or a cunning way into showing you deserved more. Of course not, I was selfish. It was a brief slip under pressure and embarrassment. I thought you'd forgive me but you turned around and never looked back.

And it was for the best for you.

Now without me lurking beside you, you had eyes for the rest of the world. You realized that you had it all upside down. The people you despised had been trying to defend your honour and protect you and your best friend had been the villain all along. Not soon after, the veil covering your heart had lifted and it had let him swoop in on his broomstick.

It could be seen on your face and in the way you moved. He had awoken the dormant lioness in you and he treated you like the Gryffindor princess- no the Gryffindor queen that you were. This is what you deserved, ultimate happiness and now not I, your sister or any resentful person could take it away. He made you complete.

You were my soul mate.

But he was your soul mate.

And so I dove deeper and deeper into the dark. I had to be one of them, I needed in and not just as another Death Eater but to be placed in the hierarchy. For you see I had lost you because of them and this selfish obsession and needed redemption for that because you were my everything and my nothing all wrapped in one by your lovely red locks.

My opportunity had arose. I had my golden ticket in the form of a stolen prophecy and I got in. How ironic, it had been my great downfall. It had been your downfall. I scathed my knees begging for your life, I'd tried negotiation, sacrifices and yet all worthless actions.

Your heart and inner lioness had always put the people you love first and there was no greater love than a mother's love for her child. It's proven by the magical protection that runs through the veins of Harry Potter.

I had always been your downfall. I had been too selfish, too ambitious. Friendship was give and take and I took everything even after our friendship was terminated. It left Potter Junior with nothing. I've heard he has your bright, beautiful emerald eyes, and his father's disgustingly, unruly hair. I'm sure he'll stick out with and without his infamous lighting bolt.

It's my turn to give back. I could never repay the debt that I owe you but I will sacrifice my life for the boy, just as you did.

Just as you were my first, you will be my last.

I'm sorry.

I'll always love you.

Sev