Unconventional // z.m.

xxiii - In Which She Finds Her Way Home

We hit 70K???? SEVENTY THOUSAND READS???? That's like 2.5k each month for me to not even update sorry I'm trash. Thank you so much to the old readers, to the new readers, to the commenters and voters that make my day and even to the ghost readers that quietly bring my numbers up and seem to enjoy the story even though they don't express it. I'm so thankful to have a platform to express myself even if I neglect it sometimes, and people who really make feel loved even when nobody irl does lol. Just... thank you.

I WILL FINISH THIS BOOK EVEN IF IT FÙCKING KILLS ME (and it probably will)

Dedicated to all the people that begged me to update I'm sorry I'm too lazy to go back into the comments to find all your usernames :/ but thank you very much I really appreciate you all :))
Also dedicated to every single person still reading even though it's been like ten months I think??? and I'm literally garbage

*

Diamond expects a lot of things when she knocks on Zayn's door for first time in a month. She expects yelling, like last time. She expects to get a door slammed in her face. She even expects to hear Zayn's footsteps behind the door, and for him not to open it when he spies her through the peephole. She expects all kinds of horrible scenarios, all of which she knows she deserves for cutting him out of her life for a month and expecting him to still be there for her at the end of it. Diamond knows that this little habit of hers is going to make her end up all alone one day. She's lucky to have Sophie and Zayn, and she's lucky that they're so patient, but she has to let them in, she knows that. After so many years of depending only on herself, it's difficult to lean on other people again.

Diamond wipes her sweaty palms on her leggings and knocks a second time, wondering if she's blown it this time. Zayn's calls have slowly dwindled in the past couple of weeks, something that at the time came as somewhat of a relief, but is now a worry. Was an entire month the last straw? Should she have just called him like she told Sophie she would?

"Coming!" Comes the call from inside, the voice muffled but still recognisable to Diamond, who's body has now been trained to react to it. She feels ridiculous as her heart speeds up and her back straightens subconsciously, like a dog perking up its ears and tail at the first sign of its owner. Contrary to what he probably thinks, she's missed him immensely, feeling his absence like the loss of a limb. She's missed his voice, his eyes, his laugh. In spite of her nervousness, she can't help but imagine what he looks like right now, just a few metres away. He's putting proper clothes on to answer the door; he always claimed that he didn't see the point in being fully clothed if you weren't being forced to by social norms. Diamond imagines all his tattoos, his narrow hips, and his skinny legs that she loves to tease him about. She prays to whatever's out there that she'll have the chance to get up close and personal with all those features again.

"Diamond?"

Diamond's head snaps up so fast it feels as if her brain slams into the back wall of her skull. The impact causes an explosion of pain to radiate from her head, but she barely notices. All she can see is Zayn, standing in his doorway in a crumpled white shirt and exercise shorts, with his dumb surprised expression, and a twenty pound note in his hand that was probably for pizza. All she can feel is his gaze, so intense that she loses her breath and forgets where she is.

And then all she can feel is his lips, and his hands on her face, holding her to him like this is the first taste of water he's had in weeks - revigorating, and destined to slip through his fingers no matter how hard he tries to hold it. Diamond loses her breath all over again as she kisses back with the same fervour, hands tangling themselves in the fabric of Zayn's shirt with the desperation of somebody who's been lost at sea. It's messy, and it takes two attempts for them to get through the doorway when Zayn stumbles them backwards into the apartment, but it's perfect. Diamond had expected all kinds of responses, but not this.