Unconventional // z.m.

xvii. In Which Zayn Realises Where Home Really Is

I'm sorry this took close to two months to write and post :(. I'm really struggling w school and my mental health at the moment, and it's been really hard finding the motivation to write when I literally no longer enjoy things I used to enjoy thanks to what could be depression. I'm still really sorry though, bc this book hit five fùcking thousand reads and I didn't even notice - mostly because I've been so concentrated on Sunglasses and building back up to the 50k I used to have on there. I realise now that that's really dumb because this book is doing good, and I actually think it's my first (published) non-cringy storyline, and I kind of like the way I wrote this ((and if you read Sunglasses you'll have seen me trash talking my own writing at the end of every chapter)).

So basically, I want to really try not to neglect this book anymore, since it's pretty much planned out until the v end, and I'd like to finish this book before summer (June maybe???  We're on ch 17 and there's only supposed to be like 25).

I really love every one of you for sticking by me, and for all your votes and comments because I promise I see every one, and I recognise your usernames. Thank you ❤❤

*

Zayn doesn't realise how attached he's gotten to Diamond until he has to be apart from her for another two weeks. Of course, he's done it before, but the distance is somehow made worse by the fact that he knows that she's back in London, actually waiting for him. Maybe it's because she's alone, without any family to speak of at a time of year where family is most important. Zayn's heart aches for her all the way from Bradford, despite how nonchalant she'd seemed when they'd said their goodbyes at his apartment the night before he left. He'd generously - almost forcefully - invited her to his, but of course Diamond refused. For the most part, Zayn understood why: it wouldn't make much sense for her to meet his parents before they even figure out what they're really doing. On the other hand, it still upsets him that Diamond is most likely curled up on her sofa, watching Christmas movies alone, or something. She'd even refused his offer to stay at his place for a few days whilst he was up North.

"You've been away all day," Trisha comments, settling beside him on the sofa where Zayn is busy staring out at the dreary sky. He frowns in response, tearing his gaze from the darkening sky to look at his mother.

"I've been home all day," he says.

"Your body has, but your mind hasn't," Trish replies, smiling a knowing smile. "Hasn't been with you since you got here actually. I don't think you even packed it."

Zayn flushes, realising now that although he's been spending time with his family, he's been neglecting them. "Sorry, mum."

Trisha rests a comforting hand on his knee and shakes her head to signal no hard feelings. "Wanna tell me what's on your mind?"

It's almost a given that Zayn hesitates. How is he supposed to tell his mother that he's falling for a prostitute? How can he tell her that they fùck on his sofa at least three times a week, but are just figuring themselves out, relationship-wise?

"I'm... over Perrie," he says carefully, only now realising the truth in his words. He hasn't even been trying to get over her, but it's like Diamond invaded his brain and pushed all thoughts of Perrie firmly out. And all these years, Zayn has believed that he needed to do something special with his life in order to move on: write a new album, take up a new hobby, move to a different country. As it turns out, it seems all her really had to do was just live.