Unconventional // z.m.

xx. In Which Two Hearts Are Broken

I really love that you guys are so lovely and never harass me to update but please harass me just a little bit bc it motivates me lmao

*

The moment they've both been dreading finally happens at the beginning of February.

When Zayn decides he wants to dye his hair silver, his first instinct is to call Diamond to help him. She happily accepts, of course, because she would probably do anything at all for the opportunity to touch his hair for extended periods of time. As it happens, Zayn doesn't even have any clue how exactly he's going to dye his hair, so they spend the best part of two hours googling the process and maintenance - well sort of. They end up watching 'Try not to laugh' compilations. The majority of them aren't even funny, but with the giddiness that overcomes both of them when they're together, they find themselves laughing at the slightest things.

"We should go get the dye," Diamond suggests, biting her lip guiltily in an attempt to refrain from laughing at the old lady repeatedly falling over on the screen of Zayn's laptop. He, on the other hand, has no such remorse, and is openly giggling at the continuous loop.

"But I'm comfortable," he pouts.

"You invited me over to dye your hair!" Diamond points out.

"Yeah, but now we're cuddling," Zayn huffs, pulling his best puppy face. "Don't you like cuddling?"

She scowls, pushing away his wandering hands before she could give in, and crosses her arms over her chest. "I didn't just learn how to safely bleach hair for an hour so I could sit here and not do it," she glares. "Somebody's hair is getting bleached today, and it's not mine."

Zayn pouts, only it achieves the opposite of the intended effect and Diamond bounces up off the sofa. "But princess-"

"Don't 'princess' me, baby boy," Diamond dismisses, slamming the laptop shut and pushing it off of Zayn's lap onto the sofa beside him. "I told you I could take charge, and guess what, bìtch? I'm taking charge!"

Zayn groans. "Really? Right now?"

"Right now."

"Like... right now right now?"

"That's what it means, isn't it?"

There's a pause as Zayn racks his brain for anything, anything at all, that will mean that he doesn't have to get off his sofa at this very moment. "Could I maybe change your mind by offering sex?"

"Could I maybe change your mind by informing you that I won't have sex with you until your hair is dyed and dried?" Diamond counters.

"You know what?" Zayn announces, springing from the sofa. "I'm suddenly motivated to get started on dying my hair."

"Uh huh," Diamond says dryly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I wonder what prompted that?"

"The rush of self-motivation," Zayn answers easily, "and the future sense of accomplishment I'm going to feel once I look in the mirror, looking back at me, is no longer Black Haired Zayn. Oh no, it'll be somebody else entirely. Somebody who dares to dream of-"

"Let's go, you big dickloaf."

*

"My neck hurts," Zayn complains, voice muffled by the fact that his head is bent forward as Diamond makes sure she gets all of the back. "And I can't breathe."

"Are you also having teething pains?" Diamond mutters. "Because you're acting like a big baby."

Despite her not being able to see his face, Zayn pouts in mock hurt. "Are you always this mean?"