The fan girls guide to fan girling

I remember when I became a fan girl; it was the summer of 2012. I found a band and I got obsessed with it. It consumed my life and felt amazing, for a little while. This is how to become a fan girl, from my perspective.

First off, find something to obsess over. It could be a band, and actor, a TV show, a book series, etcetera. It really doesn’t matter what it is, just as long as you can obsess over it. For me it was a band, Black Veil Brides, which drove me to the brink of insanity. Next, look up the band, actor, etc. on every social network you can. Maybe it’s not exactly crazy, but it’s a stepping stone to the loony bin. The crazier you act the better.

Once you are successfully cyber stalking your obsession, buy all the merchandise you can. Nothing says “I’m a crazy fan girl, look at me” like decorating yourself as a walking billboard. If you can’t find or afford real merchandise, make your own, because people on the street want to see your shaky handed scrawl on a t-shirt as they walk by on their way home. Plus all the free advertising your obsession gets just from you going to school, it’s a win-win situation.

 If your obsession is a band and they come to your city, get tickets. If they do signings, be the first in line and bring lots of stuff for them to sign. If anyone gets close to the edge of the stage during the show try to pull them in the crowd, they love that. If they come into the crowd try and tear off the clothes, or, even better, pull out their hair so you can try and clone them. When they try to climb out of the crowd, pull them back. You love them, they should know that. After the show, follow them back to the bus or the hotel, snapping pictures like a crazy person.  After they’ve gone inside, don’t leave; stay until someone calls the cops.

After the concert when you get home, print the pictures and plaster the walls in your room with all of them. The less wall you can see the better. You want the eyes of your band staring back at you from every surface possible.

After you done everything above for a few months or years, calm down and regain your sanity. Reduce your pictures and posters to a normal, non creepy amount. Four maybe five scattered around the room just because they’re awesome. Following your obsession online isn’t that creepy, just don’t send them any confessions of love. Now, get rid of the merchandise you made and replace it with a few store bought pieces. Now you’ve been a fan girl and even managed to regain your sanity.

            *Note: DO NOT take anything I have said literally, you might get arrested or committed to an asylum.