Behind Closed Doors (Outlaw Queen: Once Upon A Time FanFic)

Closures

After seeing Robin in her dream, Regina finally went to visit his grave. She has never visited it since his funeral. She brought a rose with her along with quiver of arrows and lay them near his grave. She misses him even more. She started to shed a tear and said,

"Thank you, Robin."

She can imagine the smile in Robin's face right now if he could hear her. She never thanked him since. She could remember that a simple "thank you" would suffice him.

Regina suddenly heard footsteps.  She immediately wiped the tears in her eyes. She turned around and saw Snow walking towards her and said, "I thought I might find you here."

"What are you doing here?" Regina said to her trying to put herself together concealing her grief.

"You don't have to go through this alone, Regina." Snow said to her.  

"I'm fine." Regina told her still trying to hide for grief. She walked away from the grave and completely ignoring Snow.

"Regina!" Snow called as she followed her. She saw Regina sat down the bench under the tree by her vault.

"Would you mind some company?" Snow asked. She was scared that Regina might blast fireball at her or rip her heart out or incinerate her for interferring but it was a risk she would take. Despite the things that Regina did to her, she still see her as family. When family needs help, you stood up.

"Would I mind? You're here anyway." she said sarcatically. She hated Snow giving her hope speeches but it would seem that she needed it that moment.

Regina stared blankly into the horizon as Snow sat by her side and said, "You want to talk about it?"

"I just wish that I could have turned things around back then. If  I only met Robin that night at the tavern. I could have chosen love over anger and hate. Lossing him now just made me regret why I haven't listened to Tinker Bell back then. Happiness always lasted immediately. I guess, villains don't get happy endings." Regina finally said to her.

"We all have been there. Life is full of what-ifs and could-have-beens. We can't change what happened. All we can do now is continue living. There are no purely hero and purely villain. Everyone has good and evil in them and that is what makes us human. Good and evil is not born, it is made. I have always believed that happy endings are worked hard for and it includes making the right choices." Snow said to her. Hope speech again just as expected but even though Regina hated listening to Snow, she still listened because she talks her to her senses.

 "I am tired of living. I would rather be under a sleeping curse forever." There is a sound of bitterness and sadness in Regina's voice.

"We had enough of sleeping curses. Sleeping curse is never the answer. And Robin wouldn't like that." Snow told her.

Mentioning Robin have taken her aback. Regina remembers how Robin also tried to convince her not to curse herself by telling her that we all have a second chance. It melts her heart again remembering him.

"I know you feel things deepy, Regina. Loss is not easy and you have been through losses many times. We loose people along the way but we have a choice on how to live our life. Either we waste time in self loathing or find something to live for." She told her. Snow does not know if she had said all the right words. Unlike her, Regina loss alot of people she cared about more than she know. 

"I don't even know what kind of life I am living right now. I have been Queen, Mayor, I have Henry, my sister, my friends but there is void left in my heart that I am still trying to fill. I try to be good but when my happiness comes around, it is short-lived." Regina admitted to her. 

"I am sorry." Snow finally told her. Tears streamed down her face as she holds Regina's hand and it took her by surprise.

"Snow," Regina is lost for words for a moment then she continued, "What happened in the past is in the past. We have to put that behind us. Though it still hurts, I have chosen to forgive you. I have done terrible things but you chose to forgive me. I have done the same to you. "

"I know. But after all this time, I can't still stand the fact that I was actually the one who ruined everyone's life in the first place. Not you." Snow admitted to her. It was the first time that Snow had admitted something too personal to her and after all that they have been through, she was carrying the same burden as her: regret and guilt. She felt a connection with her. One way another, she is still her step-daughter. Despite what they've been through, even though she wanted to crush her heart back then, she had always been family to her.

"I have chosen to forgive now, Snow. Hard it may seem but maybe it is time that you finally forgive yourself." Regina finally told her. Forgiving yourself is that hardest thing to do. She's been there and she still is. Even though she is separated from the Evil Queen now, she is still someone tied to her. The past never trully free them. It came to haunt them every now and then.