Solving A Hurdle

Loneliness || @sunlake

Problem : Loneliness

Solution by : Our Head Delta - sunlake

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Loneliness is a very hard problem to hurdle. At least for me. When you're lonely, you feel you have no one to reach out to and you don't have any friends. It's very hard to feel confident about yourself and you start doubting your importance in the world. It's difficult to make yourself understand people do care about you and want to see you.

There are many different ways for you to be lonely. For me, I'm quiet and people don't feel the most comfortable talking to me. They leave off on the sidelines and stay with friends who are easier to talk to. There's nothing wrong with me or my friends. Other scenarios include not having a real bond with your "friends" or you are by yourself in a place.

To deal with the first problem, I first change my attitude. Instead of letting myself sink in my sadness, I force myself to focus on breathing or my surroundings. I try to not let the sights of other people hanging out with their friends bother me. I focus on the smiles people wear or the way the light shines down on the floor in a certain way.

Once I'm calmer and no longer criticizing myself, I turn my attention to what went well in the day. I focus on friends and family members who made me laugh or thanked me. I focus on things I'm excited for like a quiet walk home or the relief I will feel after I finishing the test I have next period.

Then I look around me and see the friends that are sitting right by me. Instead of letting them push me to the sidelines, I prove to them I'm not the person they assumed I was and join their conversation.

For the second situation, it's a longer process. You might think I'm talking about a popular person and yes, movies do make it seem popular girls face this more than others, but I'm not addressing just them. Loneliness can come from being with a group of friends you aren't connected to.

I was friends with a bunch of girls since third grade. We played with each other, talked with each other, and hung out with each other. Then came middle school. We were put into different parts of the building and met different people. We all changed and even as we tried to keep being together, we had more trouble relating. We felt lonely with one another and slowly, but surely we broke into little groups.

I'm sure you've suffered through situations like the one I explained. It's a common one. The way to deal with the loneliness is to find a new friend group. A group you have more in common with. You can stay friends with your old group, but bond with your new one. Soon you'll be happier and less lonely.

For the third situation, when you're actually alone, the approach you take can be similar to situation #1. Since you're by yourself, you're often more on guard and nervous about what happens around you. You become suspicious of random people walking down the street and worry that every time a car honks it's honking at you.

You shouldn't worry though. An easy way to handle your fears is to listen to music. The music can be of any genre, but try to make it calm and positive. You probably shouldn't be listening to the Jaws theme.

Once the music has relaxed you, you can still keep it going, but take notice of your surroundings. Point out all the beautiful and good things you see inside your house and outside. Focus on the scenes that make you happy. Before long, you'll be calm and ready to take on the world by yourself.

I led you through three ways of dealing with different kinds of loneliness. I hope you use these solutions to help you deal with these situations so you can live a positive life and not let loneliness stop you from enjoying life. Thanks for reading. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.