Starting Over

Part four

Inside the classroom, Ren sat in a seat in the first row all the way on the opposite side of the chaotic classroom. There was art supplies scattered about and posters everywhere, including on the ceiling. Music that was recognized as Panic! At the Disco by Ren played semi loudly. The students chattered amongst themselves as they wrote down what was on the smart board in their spiral notebooks. Some of those who had completed their assignment sang others danced and few worked on a project silently. Everything seemed very disorganized and yet, everything went into great function.
"Good morning wonderful students!" She smiled brightly and the students all stopped.
She stopped the music as they all said in synchrony, "Good morning, Emily," All with bright smiles too. Ledo looked at the teacher in surprise that her students called her by her first name. She paused and looked at Ledo. All the students' eyes followed.
"Stay quiet," She firmly spoke without taking her eyes off the officer.
Officer Ledo began to get nervous. "Hello and good morning students. I am Officer Colton and today I'll be following Ren over there around to gather information on his girlfriend, crap, I mean friend, I swear they are just friends. You see its a joke since he..."
"Okay, we get it!" Ren shouted in embarrassment then looked down. "Focus..."
"Right..." Ledo replied scratching the back of his head and awkwardly laughing. "Anyway, Alison Grave has gone missing some time last night and her family and Ren's family have lost contact with her. I need to gather as much information from her peers and teachers to figure out what happened and where she could possibly be. So I'm asking you to tell your teacher or myself if you know something that might help the case. Spread the word to your peers. We have to bring her home before anything bad happens. So please, anything can help," At this point, Ledo was desperate to help Ren. There was a 15-year-old girl missing with her whole life ahead of her and he wasn't going to allow it to go to waste. "Thank you. Mrs. Marc, I assume? Please continue."
"Emily," She corrected. "I'm not used to my husband's last name yet," she said as she pulled off the gray beanie on her head and stroked her short, dark brown hair back and replaced it back on her head. Her wavy hair barely reached her shoulders.
She wore a plaid shirt over a light gray muscle shirt and black jeans that she wore on her hips. Her shoes were white that had been painted over with acrylic paint to create a dark stormy scene that faded into the white of the shoe. She wore little makeup. Just black winged liner. Despite her not-extreme-feminine appearance, she was still extremely beautiful, from her smooth skin to the dimples on her cheeks to the aura that surrounded her. This is not your typical teacher. Really though.
"Right, Emily, got it," he started, "I'll sit in the back, please don't mind me." He took a pause. "Actually, if you don't mind, if there are any students who aren't extremely occupied, could you maybe send them my way for a moment to gather some info for my investigation?" He asked awkwardly; moving the upper portion of his body with quick jerking movements, similar to one of those 'kawaii' moe anime characters, but weirder and not cute. Pretty dumb looking actually. Mannerisms.
"If you got anything to share with Officer Colton then do that other than that let's get to work!" She spoke proudly to the class. She turned to Ren. "Alison is one of my best students, this is a pretty big bus that ran into me and I know for you too ." She suddenly appeared to be on the verge of tears. Averting her eyes from those around her. It was silent for a moment until it was broken by Ledo forging a cough. "Anyway," Emily began, "I won't let this get the better of me, but I don't expect some of you too, especially Ren." She looked at him. "She'll be okay, I hope. Now back to work, my kiddos. I'll be in the back speaking to Mr. Colton for a moment so if you need help, ask your peers. If an emergency happens, you know what to do." She paused again. "Okay!" She said audaciously, "Let's make today happen!" She smiled forcibly. She walked to the back of the classroom where Ledo was setting up a desk in between two seats which faced slightly diagonal towards each other.
"Should we begin?" Ledo questioned, trying to sound casual. She nodded her head.
"There's something about Alison that she doesn't know about. No one. It won't help her be found though. As you know I'm newly married, just this year, so this is not my maiden name. I was born a Grave, and Ali, she's my little sister. When I was a baby, Mom had to put me up for adoption because she was still young and barely graduating high school and couldn't support a child on her own I mean she's still with my biological father since they are high school sweethearts but it wasn't easy for them." She hesitated. "Don't get me wrong, she's been there throughout my whole life and even attended my wedding, and it probably seems weird that she's always been there, but I didn't live with her even after Alison was born. That's all my fault, I said that it would be best if Ali didn't know I exist as her sister and that if I stayed with my adoptive parents, who I love very much. So please, if there's anything I can do to help or whatever, please..." She trailed off looking away from the eye contact she held strongly. She began to sob silently.
"I'm sorry... I promise I'll find her. Her life is in my care." Ledo spoke gently. She held her breath to calm herself down. "Knowing Alison," she began, "she probably saw someone else in danger and tried to act hero which led her to get into trouble. Mom used to tell me about all the times she used to protect her friends from being physically bullied before she became a shut-in. I mean she just could have been an airhead and fell into some creep's trap."
Officer Ledo took note of her words in a small black notebook. "This is exactly something that could lead to finding her. This means that she didn't just run away. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought. Anything else?"
"No... I don't think so... That's all I can think about that my mom probably hasn't said since she doesn't like saying negative things about anyone."
"Okay, that's fine. I'll come back to you and your mother in case I need to discuss anything further."
"Okay, and thank you."
"It's my job to protect and bring justice to those who need it most."
* * *
Later that day when Ren arrived home, he found Officer Ledo sitting at his kitchen table with his father discussing the details of Ren's relationship with her.
"I wouldn't do anything to hurt her!" he snapped. "Dude you saw how deviated I was this morning, why would you question my relationship with her?" he continued.
"Ren!" his father began to scold, "Officer Ledo is not doubting you, we were poking fun at how you two are clearly in love with each other. I'm terribly sorry. My son is very sensitive."
"It is alright, he's just grieving in his own way." He nonchalantly replied.
"Grieving is for the dead and Ali is not dead," Ren spoke through his teeth.
"I'm sorry. You're right. I've come with good news."
"I haven't said hi to Lison yet." Ren wasn't ready for good news unless it meant Ali was back and okay.
"Who is this 'Lison'? It is quite an odd name. Can I say hi too?" Ledo asked mockingly. He only nodded in reply so Ledo followed behind.
"I found her in the park yesterday. She's a baby Panther Chameleon and yesterday I was talking to her and it looked like she was listening to me talk about Alison and so Lison is in Alison and Lison sounds like the actual word listen like listening listen and yeah..." he spoke awkwardly.
"About Alison?" he replied with a smirk. They both entered his messy room with the curtains opened to allow the afternoon sunlight in and light shining on the tank where Lison laid asleep.
"Okay, I like her! Everyone knows it but her. She thinks I hate her because I'm popular amongst our classmates but I don't care about any of them like that. I love her. Is that what you want to hear?"
"Love? That's a sting emotion. Are you sure you love her?" Ren replied skeptically. "I mean I'm not here to tell you how you feel..."
"I don't know if it really is love I feel, but I do know it is a sting feeling of affection I have towards her ever since the 6th grade. She probably hates me so much, but I just want to shout at the top of my lungs that I love her. I want her to know I miss her with all my heart and I hate that my quote on quote friends took me away from her. I like being a jock and all, but not without her." He spoke with admiration. They stopped in front of the tank where a little green lizard was wondering around, searching for something when she stopped and looked at Ren and the strange man next to him. "Hey, Lison. I'm home from school."
Who is this man with Ren?
"This is Officer Colton. I call him Ledo. He's weird. He is here to help find Alison, where ever she is..."
I'm right here... Ren I'm right here...
"Do YOU have anything on Alison?" Ledo joked.
If only I knew a long time ago this is how Ren really felt about me. I wouldn't have given him such a hard time.
"I never thought I would miss her this much. We can go weeks on end not talking to each other and I don't miss her like how I do now..." Ren sighed as he tossed his half-empty backpack across his room and to the head of his bed.
"After I leave here, I'm heading over to the Grave home to check out her room, want to join? Maybe it'll make you miss her less being surrounded by all things Alison?" Ledo suggested. Ren looked up from the ground that he was not aware he was staring at to look over at his tank with the little Lison inside starting back at him.
"What do you think? Should j go with him?" Ren said with hope in his voice. Hope that there was a sign that he should go and she would be there sitting on her rolling chair, drawing or her nose deep into a mystery novel.
No! You can't go to my room! It's not safe in there!
"Yeah, I'll join you... Maybe I need to feel her presence even though I know she's not there." Ren ransacked through his drawer to find his wallet
Idiot, I'm right here. I'm in this dumb tank. I want to get out of here. Take me with you if you MUST go. Alison practically rolled her eyes in her thought. At that moment Ren pulled out his wallet from under his bed and held it up for the room to see.
"Lison, I'll bring you a supply of crickets on my way back. There was only a few in there when I first brought you home so you must be starving. I'll talk to you after I get back." He took a long look at the tank and the contents within and began to head out, following the empathetic officer in front of him. "See you later." He mourned and shut the door behind him.
Crap! There's a lot of stuff in there that not even my own mother knows about!
"Like what?" Collen asked suggestively.
Nothing like that... Just suicide notes... Plans to run away... You know...? She quietly confessed.
"Why?" The glowing creature questioned.
I live in my own head of hatred and sadness and I know I do and I believe everything bad I tell myself. I cause myself to be depressed and suicidal and no one knows that. I never knew why I could never bring myself to actually do those things. Oh, how I hate my self for being this way. She began to pace heavily across her new home. Squeezing her eyes shut every time she became annoyed with herself.
"I may not know you that well, but I do know that you are here because you have a caring heart. If you hadn't cared about your friend so much, you wouldn't have been given this second chance to live once again. Don't you want to continue on and live a life with that boy? I think he wants to live a life with you too." Then his voice disappeared along with him. Alison began to sob but no tears flowed out.
Why am I like this? Why the fuck do I do this to myself? I don't deserve to be alive. I don't deserve a second chance. I don't deserve anything but death! I'm a piece of shit that's stuck to someone's shoe and needs to be tossed out. Alison's spirit began to float out of the little chameleon's body and there she "sat" crying alone in the tank with her hands clawing at her face. Her skin began to tear under her nails that she kept relatively short. Blood arose from the cuts, imaginary blood of course. I am not worth anything. How can he say he likes me? It must be a joke! It can't be me...
Ren knocked on the Graves' door with a special knocking pattern. Double knock. Pause. Double knock. Pause. Knock once more.
"Is that a code or something?" Ledo laughed trying to lighten up Ren's mood.
"Actually... It is..." He began with a low voice, "We made it up as kids to let the other know that we needed them... I need her now..." The pained expression on his face was more than enough to make the most stoic of people to show remorse.
"She's going to be okay, Ren. She's a lot tougher than we all know." The voice did not belong to Mrs. Grave but to Emily as she opened the door and let them inside. "I know you miss her. I know you like her. She will come back to us, to you." She walked them to Ali's room. "Just you wait. You're here to look through Ali's stuff, right? I'm already ahead of the game. Ren if you want you can look too, there are some things in there you would find surprising." He really wanted to but he knew it was wrong too.

"I can't... it wouldn't be right to, it's her privacy." He said lightly caressing a brown title-less book on her metal counter-top. There was a lock on it that had been opened. It must be her journal he thought. It was faint but the shine made it visible to see that there were little doodles all over the cover in pencil.

"I don't think so," she softly spoke, "it's mostly about you and maybe you will figure out something we don't know and we can find her?" Emily tried coaxing. "Do it for her, she will understand." And then she walked back out the door. Ren reached back over to the book and pulled it close to his chest.

"I think you should do it too." Ledo chimed in.

Ren thought about it for a moment. The silence grew as he pondered whether or not he really wanted to help or just wanted to be a nosy person. Is this really going to help bring her back? Is this really what I want to do?