Rejection Causes Love?

Chapter 11: Giving In

I sat a bit flustered from what had just slipped out of my mouth, and Chris was still partly frozen in shock.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine." he said, cutting me off. I stared into his eyes and he took a deep breath.

"Madison... I can't do this." he admitted.

"Do what?" I asked nervously.

"I can't just sit here, and insult you and then have sex with you. I can't do any of this. You told me to leave you alone, so that's what I'm doing. And just because you miss me, I'm not gonna give in just for you to go back to not trusting me five minutes later. We're either together or we're not. And you told me not to bother you, so obviously we're not together. Just leave me alone." he said, his eyes filling with anger towards the end of his small speech. My mouth was hung open slightly in shock, and then he closed his eyes briefly and walked up to me.

"Bye." he said softly, planting a final kiss on my lips before he unlocked the door and darted outside. The door swung shut behind him, and I caught myself on the sinks, holding onto the edge to keep my balance. He didn't want me at all, and I could understand why he would say that, but I wish it didn't hurt as much as it did. I was so confused right now that it didn't even make sense. Nothing made sense. I didn't want Chris to leave me alone, but at the same time I didn't want to fall into his arms again and tell him I loved him. I felt hot tears running down my face and I buried my face in my hands, letting the tears pour out. I hated everything, but most of all, I hated myself. I had done this to myself, and I could tell how deeply I had hurt him. Deep enough that he covered his pain with anger towards me. Anger that I couldn't make go away. Not unless I accepted him. I knew I wanted to, but that small part of me was still afraid that he would hurt me again. I didn't want that to happen, but I knew I was just overreacting.

When I finally made it out of the bathroom, I dried my tears and proceeded to my next class, not caring that I was late. I saw Chris in the back corner, but he wasn't looking at me. I didn''t expect him to look at me, but that's not why I continued to stare. He seemed different, like he was thinking hard about something. I wondered if it had anything to do with me, and when I had practically demanded him to have sex with me. I didn't know what I was doing, it was the stupidest thing I had ever said. But that's how much I was yearning for him. I needed him, but he didn't seem to need me. And I wasn't going to try to force him into anything, so I guess I'd just try my best to leave him alone just as much as he left me alone. 

Just as I was about to look away from Chris, I perked up again when something else happened. One of the most popular girls in school, and also considered one of the hottest by all the boys, walked up to Chris. Her name was Ashley, and she was confident that she could get any guy she wanted. It was probably the truth, too. I had never seen her get turned down, by anyone. I scooted my chair back a bit to tune into her conversation with Chris. 

"Hey Chris." she said in a flirtatious tone. My hands curled into fists, my jaw clenching. 

"Hi." he muttered in a bored tone. 

"So... Prom is almost here." she said, leaning slightly on his desk. He just nodded and she smiled. 

"So?" he asked after a moment of silence. 

"I was wondering... you know... if you wanted to go together. I think it'd be really fun." she said enthusiastically, her smile widening over her bright white teeth. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, and if I wasn't mistaken I saw him look at me before he turned his attention back to Ashley. 

"Actually... I'm already going with someone else. Thanks for asking." he said, flashing her a brief smile. She looked shocked. 

"Really? Who?" she asked, feigning surprise. 

"I'd rather not share it right now. Trust me, you'll see at prom. If you decide to go." Chris said. She just shrugged her shoulders, pretending she didn't care, but I could see that her reputation had been scratched slightly. She hated the fact that someone had turned her down, but I wasn't even focused on that at the moment. I was mostly worried about the fact that he said he was going with someone else. He's going to prom with another girl, probably some popular slut like Ashley. I boiled with rage, turning all the way around so that I faced the chalkboard, not wanting to look back at Chris. I felt like he was watching me, observing my reaction, but I shook my head and the feeling went away. I watched Ashley sit down in the front row, flipping her hair over her shoulder disdainfully. If I wasn't so jealous right now, I would have smirked. She deserved what she got. She needed to know how it felt to be rejected. 

***

As soon as the bell rang I surprised myself once again by walking over to Chris' desk. 

"What do you want?" he asked, not looking up at me. 

"Who are you going to prom with?" I asked, trying to sound casual even though I knew he could see right through me. He looked up at me with a smirk. 

"Is that jealousy I hear?" he asked sarcastically, a smile dancing on his lips as he raised his eyebrow. I clenched my jaw and glared at him. He just shook his head and looked back down at his books as he gathered them in his arms. 

"Maybe you'll find out. It all depends on what you choose." he said, walking swiftly out of the classroom. I was confused as I slowly gathered my own books and followed his path out the door. My mind was going crazy as I tried to imagine who he was taking to prom. I knew how much jealousy was coursing through me right now, but I tried to ignore it. It just wasn't worth it. 

***

The rest of the day was uneventful, until I was about to go home. I walked outside and once I stepped into the parking lot a voice caught my attention. 

"Madison!" it said loudly. I spun around and saw Chris leaning against his car with his arms crossed over his chest. 

"What?" I asked, instantly perking up as I walked over towards him. He smirked and then opened the passenger door. 

"Why don't you ride home with me today?" he asked. The invitation hovered in the air between us before I cleared my throat. He was lucky I had taken the bus today and not my car. 

"S-Sure." I said, obviously taken off guard. His smiled widened. 

"Good." he said, getting into the driver's side as I got climbed into the car. My heart was racing in my chest. Even though I was the one that had told him to leave me alone, the situation had somehow reversed. Now I was the one yearning for him, while he just ignored me, and brushed off my attempts to talk to him. 

"Why are we going to your house?" I asked once I got up the nerve to speak. 

"I need to do some things." he muttered. 

"Do some things?" I repeated in a confused voice. 

"Yeah, my parents are on a vacation for a week. I have the house to myself." he replied carelessly. I just nodded and folded my hands in my lap as I stared down at them. What was he talking about? And what was he going to do? 

Once we arrived in his driveway, he parked the car and led us inside. He shut the front door behind us and walked upstairs with me trailing behind, wondering what was happening. He let us into his bedroom and then shut the door. I backed up against it and he spun around to face me, his eyes filled with wild emotions. 

"Madison, I was thinking all day long about what happened today in the bathroom, and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. But if you'll accept my apology, then I'd also like to accept your offer. If it still stands." he said with a smirk. I was frozen in shock, not knowing what to say. I thought he had told me to stay away from him! He walked closer and pressed his nose against mine. 

"Please Madison. I promise I won't kiss and tell." he joked, smiling slightly as he tilted his head and brought his face even closer. My breaths shortened as I clutched his t-shirt in my fists. I couldn't decided if I was going to push him away or pull him closer, but when he pressed his lips to mine all reasoning just melted away. I couldn't push him away when his lips were so soft and addicting. I needed him just as much as I needed air to breathe. He was my air. 

"Please." he whispered. I just nodded and deepened our kiss. 

"Of course. The offer will always stand as long as you want it." I assured him. With that said, he wrapped my legs around his waist and carried us over to the bed. I hoped I was making the right decision.