Desire

4

I apologise for how bad this chapter is in advance. Okay enjoy x

ASH'S POV

"Okay, so he's definitely straight" I murmur to myself whilst walking out of school at the end of the day. Jay had continued to ignore me all day, as if me complimenting him is the weirdest thing ever, and the silence has been torture. Every lesson I chose to sit next to him when the teacher asked because he's the only person I really know, and if I'm honest I'll take any chance to start a conversation with him, but all my attempts were ignored as he concentrated avidly on the lesson. It was quite strange actually, usually I'm the one dodging conversation from desperate girls but not today. It was strange to say the least, I'm not used to people not wanting to talk to me.

It's then, whilst I'm puzzling over why Jay doesn't like me, that I notice him walking with his head down and earphones in, completely shutting out the world like usual. I run over to him and yank his earbuds out of his ears so that he has no choice but to acknowledge me.

"Hey! What the fuck was that for?" he asks, obviously pissed off. I laugh at him though, his nose flares slightly pink when he gets angry, as do the tips of his ears and for some reason this knowledge amuses me.

"Calm down Rudolph, music isn't that important. I mean, its pretty important, but I like to think my company is ranked slightly higher that Brendon Urie's godly voice" I ramble, trying my best to keep the conversation afloat.

"No-ones company is ranked higher than Brendon's voice, least of all yours, unless you're about to tell me that someone I barely know is that influential in my life"

"Jesus, calm down on the big words, school is finished now. And if I'm honest, I think you're glad I yanked you out of your music cocoon, it's obvious you're desperate to be my best friend" I joke, watching as his face tinges into a fetching shade of pink. "Do you always blush or something, because I wasn't even flirting just then"

"No you weren't flirting, you were being a cocky little shit but it's okay because I'm leaving you now" he added, a triumphant look passing over his face.

"You are? Because from where I'm looking I am still walking beside you, so sorry mate but you're not getting rid of me that easy"

"Mate? I am not your 'mate' " he proclaimed "and if that's how you make friends I question how you ever had any"

"Yea but it worked though didn't it, because you're actually enjoying this conversation right now and I guarantee that tomorrow you'll be talking to me all lesson"

"You're annoying, you know that?"

"Yea, it's great isn't it?" I retort, laughing as he scoffs at me and pushes me away with his shoulder. "Ah see, practically bezzie mates already"

"Say bezzie mates one more time and I'll never speak to you again" he jokes, a glisten in his eye.

"I'll take my chances" I laugh, before the conversation dwindled into comfortable silence.

I wonder if he's ever had a conversation with someone like this before, whether he's actually ever tried to talk to anyone. For some reason I doubt it, he may be joking about with me but I can sense the uncertainty in his voice, almost as if he's afraid this is all a big prank and that I'm eventually going to run off once I've uncovered enough about him. I wonder if that's happened before, if that's why he doesn't speak to people any more, just shuts out the world and moves along by himself, busying himself with his own company. I wonder if that's why he has a nervous disposition and a anxious gait, checking over his shoulder every couple of minutes and wringing his hands constantly. I don't know who did this to him, but I hate them for affecting him so badly.

I had become so engrossed in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed that we had come to a halt in front of a semi-detached small house with a run down garden and a lopsided gate.

"Um, yea this is my house so,um, I guess this is goodbye." he stammered, nervous for some reason.

"Not gonna invite me in? Tut tut Jay, do you even know how to make friends?" I joke, watching his face for a sign that I crossed the line.

"I mean, you can come in if you want but there's nothing interesting here." he said, his lazy drawl catching in his throat as he spoke, a sure sign that he was anxious.

"It's okay, I should probably be heading home anyway" I replied, trying not to be offended by the relief that washed over his face "See you tomorrow Jay-Bae"

"Don't call me that dickhead"

"Fine, later hoe"

I don't know what it is about Jay but I like him, maybe because he's hard work and difficult to read, or maybe it's because he has a tongue as sharp as mine and can argue back without thinking, or maybe it's the unknown and the mystery surrounding him. Whatever it is, I like it, I think to myself whilst plugging earbuds into my ears, "and he's totally wrong" I mumble as Panic! At the Disco blasts in my ears, "my company is definitely better than Brendon's voice, but only just".