Lynzi-
It has been 3 days since I last saw Channing. Every day I look at the seat next to mine and it causes me to feel a pinch of guilt but mostly the emotion is sadness. Sadness as to what I did that would drive him away. Sadness at the fact that the last day I saw him he didn't even want to look at me. Sadness that when I try to dream of him that all I see his black. I miss him. There is no way around the fact that I miss his company, in reality and in my dreams as well. I know that my feelings are illogical but what am I supposed to do besides express them. I just want to know where he went off to. I don't understand why he left or how he felt but I'm curious as to know if I'm ever going to see him again. I've tried asking Blake but he seems to dodge the question. I went the rest of my day as I did the last three; hurting. I couldn't help but show my emotions around my friends and family since I just wasn't good at masking them for the time being. But none of them pried. Not even my over-dramatic mother wanted to push the topic, which was sort nice for a change.
The bell rang and caused my thoughts to vanish as I exited my classroom and made my way through the halls. Everyone seemed to be traveling at a much faster pace than me as I felt people pushing past. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't notice that people were yelling and circling around until they almost knocked me over trying to go see the battle being spectated by the rest of the school. I composed myself and made my way over to the crowd. 'FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!' seemed to be the only words that emerge from the crowd's mouths. I ducked under people and practically crawled my way to the inner edge of the circle to see who the rebels were. When I got to my feet my eyes went wide. The two people that I would never imagine to fight were right in front of me. Tommy and Blake were throwing punches and looking at each other as if they were ready for bloodshed. I was dumbfounded to see them going at each other with Elizabeth on the sidelines yelling at them both to stop their trifle. My chest hurt knowing that two people I care about (Well not Blake as much but still he is a nice guy) were throwing punches. My heart and my brain joined sides for once as I pushed forth to intervene. I yelled out Blake's name and ordered him to stop this. He immediately jumped off of Tommy and brushed off his shirt which had been ripped slightly from the struggle. Tommy gradually got up wiping the blood away from his nose and mouth as he glared revengefully at Blake.
"Tommy, what happened? Why did you attack Blake?" I walked over to the other edge of the circle where Elizabeth was practically holding Tommy up by his arm. She looked so angry but at the same time so guilty. What could have happened to make them all act and feel this way?
"Hey! What do you mean by me attacking him?! I have the most injuries here and your blaming me for starting this?!" Tommy couldn't help spitting on my face as he emphasized all his words, as he yelled at me. I was mad and confused at the same time. I didn't want to yell at Tommy but the way he was acting was out of line. I had no other way of controlling myself or my hormonal feelings about Channing anymore. I clenched my fist and bit my tongue to prevent myself from saying the wrong words but the more I tried to contain myself the more that flame of anger grew.
"Tommy! I know that Blake wouldn't start anything! He isn't like that! I know you; you made the first blow! I can see it on your damn face! So don't you tell me that I have blamed the wrong person! I'm going through enough pain right now; do you have to cause problems between people that I care about?" I practically screamed every word as it passed through my tight lips. My face was only inches from Tommy as we continued to yell profanity and any other problem that we could blame on each other. Tommy and I were eventually pulled back from each other as Elizabeth and Blake intervened in our quarrel.
"Alright, fine. You can be that way Lynzi. We are your friends!" Tommy pointed to him and Elizabeth as he emphasized and basically told me who my friends were, "This guy behind you has only known you for, how long? A week! And suddenly you're taking his side for everything! What happened to you Lynzi?! You used to trust us about anything and out of nowhere you're defending some horny idiot? You're not the same, and you know what, I don't think that you are going to be the way you were either. Your 'new friends' seem to have other ideas on their minds! You can be whoever you want to be but when you need our help because these jack-offs don't know how to be true friends don't come to me." Tommy shrugged off Elizabeth's hold and stormed off towards the double doors and pushed it open with enough force to break the glass if it hit the lockers. Everyone in the circle watched him disappear into the bright outdoors. Elizabeth looked at me, upset and just hurt, she mouthed me a quick 'see you later' and ran after Tommy. The whole crowd turned back to me and Blake as their shocked facial expressions seemed to die down, as they all dispersed into different directions. I never noticed that I was crying until my forearm started to feel damp. Blake's fingers wrapped around my shoulders to hold me steady as my sobs started to break through. I couldn't compose myself anymore. The fact that I obviously did something to upset Channing was killing me inside. I have no idea what I was thinking or feeling. Channing was a stranger, a mysterious figure in the night that you wouldn't dare to look at. Channing was the only thing that seemed to be on my mind for the past 3 days and nothing I could ever do would make me think of a reason to get him out. I tried to play happy music, tried to focus on homework, clean the house, and all other kinds of things that would bring my mind away from the one person in my life that seemed to have too much control over my emotions. Blake tightened his grip on my shoulders as my sobs became louder and my tears flowed from my eyes like a dame breaking. I couldn't keep anything together anymore.
