All of me was ruined by you

Parties

This all started the night of my best friends 17th birthday.
I was only 16 and had never been to an actual party before, a proper party with alcohol and no adults.
But there I was
I nearly didn't make it in the beginning, it'd been going on for a few weeks now but it was getting worse. The constant feeling of nausea overtook my body, causing me to lose sleep and weight, but I pushed through. I couldn't miss my one opportunity to go to a party and maybe meet someone, just like what happens in the movies.
It was a dress up theme but me being the naive girl I was decided to dress for comfort. I wore a pair of black fake leather tights, a black singlet and my favourite red flanno.
It took weeks of nagging for my parents to let me go but I finally wore them down, the only rule was no alcohol.
I wandered around the entire night feeling out of place, watching people drink until they couldn't walk, seeing people so intoxicated that they were no longer able to form a meaningful sentence.
I never understood why people drank, I saw it as something stupid. "What is the point in drinking something that's going to make you forget your night and end up sick' I used to say to myself, if only I had known how that liquid took away pain I would've started drinking years ago.

I tried to make friends and be social but the underlying fear and feeing of unworthiness over took me, it consumed me and I realised this wasn't the place I was meant to be. This wasn't my scene, so I rang my dad and got picked up.

We drove back to town to pick up my mum from a "girls night" as we arrived I walked up stairs only to find Amy, my mums best friend in tears over her recently ended marriage.

I watched as she sat on the floor, her face red from the built up emotions flowing out through her eyes. 
She looked broken, not only physically but emotionally.
Everything in her life had been turned upside down, she had nothing.
She thought she was nothing.
She had let herself become an imprint of him, now that he was gone she lost every inch of herself.

After what felt like hours of comforting we all piled back into the car to drop Amy home, she was staying with her brother because her ex-husband took everything from her.

As we stepped out of the car my heart began to beat faster, my breathing almost came to a stop when I realised who would be inside.