i'm bitter,
i'll admit it.
even with your toothy grins and the way i'll see your eyes linger when you see your little lady wear your big clothes, i cannot help but feel betrayed.
she left, not out of will.
it's been four years and i know you're ready.
but i'm not.
i cannot keep lying to your face and force myself to say 'it's fine, it's okay' before you even finish your sentences.
i cannot help the feeling in my chest when you pick me up from school and you ask me what we should get for take out because your little lady was waiting back home. in our house.
i cannot keep forcing smiles and chanting on 'it's okay' like my lover's name when i know it's not, and by 7, cry in my room and sob with all my might.
it's when she's around, my house no longer feels like a home.
these 6 rooms i've come to known no longer feel like safe heaven, in a matter of fact, it's become a game of hide and seek never knowing when your little lady will pop up from behind.
i do not exit my room without a weight on my shoulders, it is like the red man is sat comfortably on me and has claimed me as his throne.
i hadn't anticipated for things to hurt this much.
22:51
