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destacia-Walking Disasters

So......helloooo. It's been two years since my last review (lol, sad I know), and this will probably be a very short review, but a short review is a good review!

*Disclaimer*

I'm no professional writer okay? Most of this is strictly my opinion, and frankly a tip or two. Take this with a gain of salt.

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Walking Disasters by destacia is a story about a girl named Charlie who was supposed to commit suicide with a boy named Jonah. Jonah jumped, Charlie didn't, but Jonah ends up surviving and a few years later comes back to basically torture Charlie (and possibly kill her?). Now there's 12 parts to this story so far and I only read 7 before writing this review. I have to say the 7 parts I did read were really good.

It keep me intrigued, it had nice pacing, nice narrative, and no info spiting, which was a relief. Now, because destacia's story had all of those things I'm just going to focus on the individual characters and the plot of the story.

Characters:

Charlie: I kind of like the fact that she's not someone who you're going to instantly like. She's crazy, plain and simple. She's a stalker, she's a liar, she's paranoid; these traits will hopefully be used to further her character development. Because she's your main character you want her to never stalk someone again, you want her to start telling the truth, and you want her to stop being paranoid and face her fears. Charlie's the type of character you can go two ways with. Fix her up to be better than how she started, or break her, just when you think she's growing as a person take her in the opposite direction, but that also depends on how the story progresses.

Ethan: What a jackass, he's a jackass Christian boy, oxymoron or irony? I'm not entirely sure if it was intentional or not make him like that, but god, he's a bit insane too. Like this guy is possessive! He keeps on claiming ownership over Charlie and I'm sitting here as the reader going, "bitch, you don't own shit, calm your face!" A part of me is hoping Jonah get's his little hands on him haha!

Jonah: The antagonist of the story! And ironically enough he's my favorite character! He's also crazy, this story just has a bunch of psychos in it. Jonah doesn't have as much screen time as Charlie and Ethan. He's such a mystery, a bit an ass, but he seems like he has a plan. Apparently he's been stalking Charlie and recently started to squeeze his way back in her life. I'm interested to see how he's planning to exact his revenge on Charlie!

Side Characters: EH. Typical teens I guess, there's nothing that really stands out to much about them

Plot:

I wouldn't say I have a problem with the plot but I'm hoping you can/or could've push the concept a little more.

I mean you have these crazy (literally crazy) teens, and the plot is pretty basic- crazy stalker boy comes after crazy stalker girl. But what if it wasn't just that? Take the plot and push-make the reader really question if what they're reading is what's actually happening. While I was reading I was thinking to myself, "Oh man, imagine if all this stalker shit was all in Charlie's head, and Jonah was straight up just trying to readjust to society." I mean that would've been perfect especially since Charlie's so paranoid. Imagine if the banging at the beginning of the story was actually something else, or if Ethan didn't actually hear it at all?

What if the Jonah confrontation in the hallway ended with Ethan coming up behind Charlie saying, "Hey, who were you just talking to?" and Jonah suddenly disappearing. Maybe Jonah isn't coming after Charlie because she didn't jump with him, maybe she pushed him? Maybe the whole suicide pact was something Charlie made up in her head? I mean this is a mystery/thriller story, having it be more gray, than black and white would definitely engage the readers more.

Are the villains really the villains? Are the victims really victims? Remember there are two sides to every story, and usually both sides think they're right.

You've got something good going here! You should be proud! Don't be afraid to go off the beaten path a little with the plot, it might help a little! Good Luck!