// halsey imagines //

// cigarettes & slow dances //

Y/N's POV

As I wake up to the pounding screech of my alarm clock, I groan and hit the snooze button. I lay back down, making a poor attempt at conserving the warmth still trapped in the sheets. I turn onto my right side, and I see a mess of blue hair sprawled across the white pillow case. I lightly smile to myself while I watch my girlfriend's chest rise and fall quietly. Her lips slightly parted, barely a full inch, as she intakes slow breaths and silently lets them out. I kiss her cold, porcelain cheek before I slip out of her embrace and plant my bare feet on the creaky hardwood floor. A shiver runs through my body at the sudden contact of the cold wood. I scan the room and grab a pair of my favorite fuzzy socks. They're blue and red, which to me is an intricate combination, the colors clash yet they fit together perfectly. Like they're meant for each other.

I slowly make my way to the kitchen, the old wooden floor creaking here and there. I walk up to the brown, cracked leather jacket hung over one of the kitchen table chairs, I snake my hand into one of the inner pockets and pull out a pack of Pall Malls. I used to be more of a Marlboro girl, that was until I realized the immense price difference between buying a carton from the two brands. I pull out a cigarette from the package and slip it back into the jacket. I place the stick of tobacco between my lips, I grab a lighter off the counter and put it up to the end of the cigarette. I lay the lighter back down and inhale one, long, deep breath of smoke. I've always taken a liking to the sensation of it running through my lungs, maybe it's because of the way it burns down your throat, or the relief that washes over you once you let out that puff. I've never figured it out, to be honest. I've attempted kicking the habit many times, I even tried fucking hypnosis once. Hypnosis. I only ever went to that length when my friends were begging me to go cold turkey. Then they left, like everyone else does, and I go back to the one thing that comforts me, alleviates my stress, and that I know if I were to die from it, at least I wouldn't be left heartbroken. 

I turn on the coffee maker, pouring a few scoops of grounds into the filter. I quietly listen to the soft rumble of the machine, and the light drips of coffee hitting the bottom of the pot as it begins to fill. I walk over to the window and watch the sun rise as I take another long drag of the cigarette. I release the smoke filled breath and close my eyes as I feel petite arms wrap around my waist. "G'morning, baby." The blue haired beauty rasps into my ear, laying a few light kisses on my neck. "Good morning, princess." I reply, inhaling another breath of smoke. I lightly tap the cigarette on the ash tray a few times, letting the excess fall off into dust. The young girl behind me lightly takes what's left of the cigarette out from between my fingers, she places it between her lips and breathes in the smoke. She playfully blows it in my face and I let a chuckle escape. She snubs the remnants of the cigarette into the ashtray.

She walks over to the dock and speakers, placing her phone down into the electronic. The slow beat and the quiet guitar strums of Keaton Henson fill the apartment. The petite girl holds her hand out to me while she takes a spot on the middle of the kitchen floor. "Dance with me." She quietly says, a gleam forming in her eye. A smile tugs at my lips as I cross my arms and shrug, tantalizing the girl before me. Ashley groans and grabs my hand, yanking me to the middle of the floor with her. She lays her head on my chest, she says she finds the sound of my heartbeat soothing, as one would say the pitter patter of the rain during a storm is cozy. She said, and I quote, "your heart beats to it's own rhythm, creating melodies inconceivable to man." Poetic, is she not?

I wrap my arms around her slender waist, letting her engulf herself into my presence. She places her hands on my chest also, letting me completely wrap around her. She says my hugs are the most reassuring and comforting things in the world. She really is the cutest.

This feels right and I'm letting it.
And now I know just what to do.

We slowly waltz around the dimly lit kitchen, no fancy, choreographed gestures from either of us obviously. Just me, holding her, rocking back and forth, taking light steps around the kitchen floor. These are the kind of moments that I crave, that I love. When we combine, and our souls have that moment when they realize how truly intertwined they are with one another. It's astoundingly magical.

And please do not hurt me, love,
I am a fragile one, and you are the light in my eyes.
Please do not break my heart,
I think it's had enough pain to last the rest of my life.

I quietly hum the lyrics into Ashley's ear, her eyes beginning to flutter close.

Endless distraction, you worry me.
But I'm trying to figure out how.
You don't have to make any promises, love.
I'm afraid I might die for you now.

I pull away from the girl, twirling her as she lets out a slight giggle before I pull her back into me once more.

And I'd kill just to watch you as you're sleeping.
I hope that you'll let me, in time.
You don't have to call me yours, my love.
Damn it, I'm calling you mine!

The coffee machine beeps, indicating that it's ready, but we just ignore it. I continue to quietly hum along to the song, running my fingers through the girl's thick, long hair. Comforting her as she yawns and nuzzles her face into my chest even more. "Do you want coffee, my love?" I whisper to the girl in my arms. She lightly shakes her head and looks up at me, her amber eyes aglow. "Not right now. Just hold me, please." She says, a pleading tone filling her voice and her eyes lightly glossing. I hold her closer to me, if that's even possible. "Of course baby, always." I reply, reassuringly.

Ashley often has anxiety attacks a few hours before she would usually wake up. It's like her body refuses to let her restore her energy, it slaps her awake just to make her go through an attack, and then it leaves her in a quivering mess. Ever since this became a constant thing, I always set my alarm clock extremely early, so I hopefully wake up before her attacks, in which I can comfort her as soon as possible. Yet today, she didn't have one.

And please do not hurt me, love,
I am a fragile one, and you are the light in my eyes.
Please do not break my heart,
I think it's had enough pain to last the rest of my life.

As the chorus of the song plays one more time, Ashley pulls me in for a loving, endearing kiss before quietly singing along. As the song comes to an end, I lay my index finger under her chin, lightly lifting her head up. I peck her nose, then her lips before quietly saying "You'll never lose me, nor will I let anything happen to you, you aren't just the light in my eyes, you are the light of the universe. The one and only reason some people want to get up everyday. Sunshine literally radiates from your soul. You are celestial, my love."

Her eyes begin to water and I wipe a stray tear away with the pad of my thumb. "I- I love you, so much." She quietly stutters out, laying her ear against my chest once more, listening to the beat of my heart. I kiss her head before replying. "I love you more than you will ever know."

And I will not tire of you.

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I hope you guys liked this one, honestly it's my favorite one that I've written so far. I guess it's just the total embodiment of all I want in this life, just this. Also, the song title is 10 AM Gare Du Nord if you were curious. Whenever I enter my sort of mind space where I basically disconnect from everyone around me and I depersonalize, I always listen to Keaton. Birthdays is a blessing to this universe. Anyways, I love ya guys, see you later!

- Eden