I can't sleep. I'm bored as ever. (trying not to cuss.) I just... right now I feel as... I don't know. Write, I guess. I just... I guess my head is swimming with thoughts at the time. I just write. Like my username states, I'm a broken author. I love to write, but I guess I don't do it as often as I should. You know, ever since I started this website I've been writing a lot more lately.
I used to use my razor as my outlet, scarring myself. I already have plenty... but... I still do it. It's hard. Let me tell you, if you are reading this and are thinking of making that first cut, I've been down that road. Once the blood runs down your arm, you can't stop. People don't take self harm seriously. They take drugs seriously, but they don't take the other life threatening condition like they should.
They say it's a phase... but it's not. I was 9 when I made that first cut. 9!!! Think it's a phase now? By the time I was 10, maybe 11, my body was covered in scars. I was considering suicide. At ten years old!
This is not, I repeat, not a phase. Drugs. Yeah, they're bad and everything, but I don't think that a 9 year old would be smoking. Right? I mean, I'm not saying its impossible, but its not that likely.
Bullying is the real problem. You don't start to have problems with it in 7th-8th grade like you do wiyh drugs.
Thats just a rough estimate guys, ok? I'm writing this from the top of my head.
Anyways, bullying... well bullying can start in kindergarten. But it doesn't really escalate to really bad until cuss words and fights are involved.
Plenty of things could happen. That could even happen in fourth grade! Like I learned... I never thought I would self harm... bit nobody does, do they?
Nobody thinks that they would even go to it. Not until it happens. If you are still reading this (which I doubt anyone is) and are still considering making tjat first cut... don't.
Find help. Think about the people that care aboit you. Try to resist. Actually... you know... I have no words for how important you are. None at all.
But I do have a list of songs for you to listen to.
Hopefully this book will help you out. It is a book for the song lyrics and people here that have touched my life the most.
Please listwn to them.
Thank you in advance.
