I Thought That You Were Gone (Phanfic)

Packing Bags

I'm helping Phil pack his suitcases for his week in Florida, I was going to miss my adorable friend and a week now seemed like a full eternity. I felt so lonely without my cuddly lion and wanted to hug him constantly. By tomorrow morning, Phil would be off to flipping Florida, while I'm just lolling around inside all day.

"Phil. Take my top with you, I want some of me with you while you travel" I say half ironically, half seriously, I hand him my black top with a white eclipse in the middle, my signature t-shirt.

"Dan. You know that I would never wear that. " He chuckled 

"It matches your 'too-black-for-this-universe' hair" 

"I'll take it anyway, so I can smell you"

"Phil. What the actual."

"Oh my god, Dan! Stop being so flipping dirty-minded. You'll change me"

"In what way, Phillyboy?"

We laughed ourselves silly and fell onto Phil's bed still laughing.. We stared at each other's eyes, I wouldn't be seeing those electric blue eyes for a whole week. I sat up and nuzzled into Phil's chest. He hugged my head and smiled.

"Think that the packing's done, then" Phil says

"Yep, Don't forget Lion"

"Never in a million years, Bear."

It was 3AM and we were just sitting on Phil's bed laughing. Our moments together are so precious. I love him. I love him as a friend. I'm not gay, but I love Phil Lester and our friendship is something no-one can relate to. I didn't bother to change into my Pyjamas as I was just in my cozy clothes, while Phil was wearing his cute fox sweater. I fell asleep on my best friend's bed, I felt him playing with my hair and then he too went to sleep, hugging and cozying up to me. I turned over and saw Phil's familiar eyes staring straight into my chocolate brown ones. His arms were around my neck. I kissed him on his soft, pale cheek. We were best friends and not in any romantic relationship. We didn't need to be anyway.

I awoke alone on Phil's colourful bed.. He was gone. He was probably on his plane right now. I checked my phone. 1:00PM. I felt upset and alone with Phil not here. I sat up and headed downstairs to eat some cereal. Lucky Charms felt like a good choice for today. Eating alone in the kitchen felt inappropriate and sad. I needed to edit my video.. I sat on the sofa assuming the browsing position and started the editing. The video was uploaded 3 hours later. Damn. It was already 4:30PM. I hadn't done anything productive with my day, besides uploading the video.

Climbing up the stairs in no particular rush, I reached the top much later than I had expected. I had stopped on almost every step just thinking about our existence and how death is inevitable. I also wondered what love was. Can you feel love for a friend? Or can you only feel love for a family member or partner?

I layed down on the existential crisis hallway and pondered. I am flipping 25 years old! I don't need to think childish thoughts like this, for crying out loud. 

The next few days rolled by slowly.. Me and Phil tried to Skype as much as we could, but Phil's Wi-Fi was crap at his Hotel and his 3G literally never worked. 

I miss him so much. It's only been 2 days. 

I miss him even more, 3 days are over.

My heart aches because of the absence of my best friend. 4 days are finally gone.