Monophobia(The Fear Of Being Alone)

Impossible

I woke up to Carter's music blaring from the bathroom. Of course, he was taking a shower because as soon as Carter stepped foot in the shower he would start singing his heart out. It was kinda cute  how Carter didn't give a crap about being weird.  I started to get a weird feeling in my chest. I tried my best to repress it and pretend It wasn't there but it seemed utterly impossible.

"Good morning sleepy girl." I heard Carter say as he walked in the door. He was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a white T-shirt. His hair was dry as he always blow dries it. Maybe that's the secret behind the fluff.

"Morning." I said as I crawled off of my mattress.

"Want some cereal?" Carter asked as he put some mismatched socks on.

"Sure, let me change real quick." I responded.

I ran to the bathroom and put on the clothes that I always keep in my backpack just incase. Inside was a pair of black jeans  and a white Troye Sivan shirt . I put on a bit of mascara because I look dead without any makeup and I ran a brush through my pastel blue hair. I dyed it a couple weeks ago and I'm already planning on changing it to something darker. I pulled  my favorite flower crown out of my backpack and placed it on my head. It had tiny little white flowers and it went well with the color of my hair. I usually present with more masculine clothing but I liked to look cute every now and then. I looked in the mirror and tried really hard to fight away those nagging insecurities in my brain. They always brought me down when I felt good about myself. I hated them but I always let them win.

"Mel why are you taking so long?" I heard Carter yell from down stairs. He interrupted my thought process.

"Oh sorry I'll be right there." I said as I unlocked the bathroom door and went downstairs.

"There you are sleepy head." Carter said after shoveling a spoonful of Cheerios into his mouth.

I grabbed a bowl and sat across from him at the table.

"So what do you want to do today." Carter said after he swallowed the last bit of cereal in his bowl.

"I don't know. Its up to you."

"Okay, how about we walk around the mall for a little while."

"Sounds fun." I responded nervously. Actually, that didn't sound fun at all. If we went to the mall we might run into people we know or people may ask me about my shirt or What if Carter sees his group of friends and leaves. I repressed all this anxiety and hoped for the best.

I walked away from the sink after washing my bowl when suddenly Carter put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. I stared in his pretty eyes with the most confused feeling ever.

"Mel," Carter said in a tone that scared me a bit, "...You look so cute today!" He said as he changed his tone and hugged me. I felt  my nerves cool and I laughed a bit.

"Thanks." I said as he let go of me and  grabbed my hand.

"Lets go!" He said with a huge smile and pulled me to his car.

As we were driving to the mall, Carter began to recite the entire Bee Movie script as I died laughing. Carter was great at making me feel less anxious.

"You're cute when you laugh." Carter said with a small smile hinting at his face.

"Liar Liar pants on fire." I said with a slightly uncomfortable laugh.

"Oh shut up, you know its true" Carter said as he playfully slapped my arm. I had no idea how to respond without lowering all of my self confidence so I remained silent.