No More Wishes (Cheating!Reiner X Bertholdt Fanfic)

Part 1

"Have you packed your lunch?"

"I'll be eating out today."

"Need help with your tie?"

"It'll come off later anyways."

"And Reiner?"

"What, Bertholdt? I have to go now."

"Have a good day at work, sweetheart."

"You too, dear."

And with that, Reiner rushed out the door, leaving Bertholdt staring sadly at him. His chest tightened as he mumbled, "Early again..." to the silence in their apartment. Bertholdt walked into his bedroom to change.

How many months has it been? Their marriage began two years ago, and Reiner's cheating began 5 months ago. Or had it been longer, without Bertholdt's knowledge? Normally, someone would've immediately broken it off with their spouse. Yet, here he was, gaining more and more anguish per day. The 10 different books he read on why he was still in his decaying marriage all described it as "Stockholm Syndrome". None of it was accurate, however, because Bertholdt didn't feel love for Reiner anymore. In fact, he didn't feel anything, besides a growing emptiness and ripping feeling eating up his mind and body day by day. Oh, and had he mentioned his habits of cutting?

The only rational answer was given by his best friend, Annie. With that, Bertholdt began to recall one of their earliest conversations about Reiner. "I can't believe you," she scolded over the phone. "That bastard doesn't deserve you. I'll mutilate him so badly when I get my hands on him, he'll regret even being born! That little piece of......." Even thousands of miles away, Annie was still a demoness on the other line. Bertholdt tried to change the topic. "So, how's the U.S.? Is the job going well?" Unfortunately, his efforts to change the subject ended up in vain.
"Listen, why do you stay with him without even saying anything?"
"I.....I don't really know myself."

"Maybe....... you're clinging onto your ideal version of Reiner- the one you've known and loved your whole life. In addition, you're stuck in denial, and you keep fooling yourself into believing it not his fault, but yours. The only thing you want......is to reverse things the way they used to be."
Bertholdt stopped in his tracks. Everything that Annie said was spot on. In fact, the mere realization of what was going on made him clutch his heart. The spinning void consuming his chest seemed to tighten, almost becoming unbreathable. The edges of his lips began to tremble, and heat began to build up behind his eyes. The more time he stood dumbfounded, the closer he was to crying. But Bertholdt wouldn't let the liquid escape, because he knew the moment he started to sob, he wouldn't be able to stop.

Keep on smiling, even if it kills. The pain will go away eventually. They'll never know. Keep on smiling. Smile.

He continued to recite the words in his head. It became some sort of mantra to him- the only thing he could live by at this point. And it worked.

In only a few seconds, a broad, fake smile was plastered into Bertholdt's face. His eyes were flooding with agony and distress, but he had hidden it well enough.

Instead, he began to chuckle. "Where d'ja get that from?" he interrogated playfully. "It sounds like it came exactly from a book."

Even Annie had to stifle laughter. "My roommate," she explained. "She's a psychologist- with a ton of books on the topic lying around. When there's nothing else to do......... Hey, did you know, anxiety affects over 40 million adults here in the U.S.? Oh, and only 1/3 of the affected-"

"As much as I'd enjoy listening to your endless knowledge, I really need to get ready for work."

"I won't be able to convince you to divorce Reiner, will I?"